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Band 7.5

The spread of multinational companies and the increase of globalization produces positive effects for everyone. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#spread #companies #globalization #effects
Some
people
 harbour a belief that the growth of multinational
companies
 and
globalization
 is beneficial to
people
. From my perspective, I am inclined to stand with the proponents as the trend unlocks the dream of a global village and broadens
people
's horizons.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of multinational
companies
 is that they bring about more opportunities for collaboration which is crucial to industrial improvements. A significant advantage of multinational
companies
 is that elites around the world can work together. Since they are from different cultures, they may have different ways of thinking. It will become a merit when facing challenges.
Moreover
, technical communication will create multiple possibilities which will elevate industrial development.
According to
 the aforementioned, the trend indeed has a vital role to play in public well-being. At the other end of the spectrum, the increase of
globalization
 shortens the distance between citizens on earth. Thanks to technology development,
people
 nowadays can travel around the world easily. The more chances that individuals have to contact various cultures, the more opportunities they have to understand each other. Even If individuals are unable to visit other countries, they can easily learn information about various regions on the Internet.
Besides
, learning foreign cultures will stimulate individual thinking and generate multiple inputs. The appealing evidence indicates that
globalization
 is an important enhancement to society.
To sum up
, multinational
companies
 and
globalization
 have become an inevitable tendency around the world. It provides
people
chances
Change preposition
with chances
show examples
 to know each other and helps industries with progress when employees brainstorm with brilliant colleagues.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic, and restate this stance in your conclusion for further clarity.
Supporting Examples
While presenting your arguments, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by relevant examples or evidence. You've done well in this area, but further elaboration with more specific examples could enhance your score.
Cohesion
Connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly using a range of cohesive devices. You've structured your essay well with clear logical progression, but refining your use of linking words could improve flow even further.
Balance & Depth in Argument
For an even more comprehensive response, consider briefly acknowledging counterarguments to your position. This will show a depth of understanding and ability to evaluate different viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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