The illustration show how chocolate is produced. Task 1

Contained in the illustration is the method of mass-producing
chocolate
in a factory. Generally speaking, it is a complicated process, commencing with the meticulous cultivation of
cacao
trees, followed by their subsequent harvest upon reaching optimal maturity, culminating in the intricate processing of the
cocoa
beans
into
chocolate
. The preliminary phase of manufacturing
chocolate
is when the
cacao
tree is cultivated in South America, Africa and Indonesia until full ripeness is attained by the
cacao
pods, thereby indicating their readiness for the harvesting process.
Following
this
step, the ripe and succulent
cacao
pods are carried out by farmers utilizing specialised implements before being depulped to extract the white
cocoa
beans
.
After
this
stage is complete, the
beans
are subjected to fermentation for a special duration, and
subsequently
, they are dried and allocated into massive sacks. In the following juncture, the sacks of
cocoa
beans
are delivered by either train or lorry, depending on the demand of the processing plant, where
cocoa
beans
are converted into
chocolate
. Preparing
chocolate
for distribution is the focus of the latter steps in the sequence. Once the substantial quantity of
cocoa
beans
is transported to the manufacturing facility, the
beans
are roasted with the high-temperature apparatus. The ensuing stage involves the seeds passing through a crusher to remove the outer shell. The whole process terminates with final products, achieved through the pressing of
cocoa
beans
to obtain the liquid portion.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear, step-by-step description of the chocolate production process, which successfully meets the task requirements. To further improve, consider expanding your introduction to include a brief overview of the main stages. This prepares the reader for the detailed description that follows.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've done well to structure your essay logically, moving from the cultivation of cacao trees to the final chocolate production. To enhance coherence, make use of transitional phrases between steps to create a smoother flow and help the reader follow the process more easily.
Task Achievement and Coherence & Cohesion
Your use of specific examples and details successfully illustrates the process. For further improvement, consider how you can link these details more explicitly to the overall process of chocolate production, to reinforce the relevance and increase the clarity of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: