IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives the information about the UK’s ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035.

The chart below gives the information about the UK’s ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in each member country in the United Kingdom in 1985
while
Linking Words
 making predictions for 2035.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart shows the number of old
people
Use synonyms
 in the UK compared to the population will increase, where England will see the lowest jump and the rest of the states in the UK will have a similar spike.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Wales had the highest proportion of old
people
Use synonyms
 on their land about 16%
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 England and Scotland had close starting numbers at around 15% and Northern Ireland was the lowest at 12% and the average was at 15% in 1985.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,Wales will have the biggest portion of ageing
people
Use synonyms
 on their soil about 26%
whereas
Linking Words
 England and Northern Ireland will be the same around 23%
while
Linking Words
 being at the bottom
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Scotland will be in the middle at 25% and the average would be 24% in 2035 in the UK.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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