in many countruies, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countruies #amount #crime

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Nowadays, the

crime

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rate shows an increasing number in many countries.

This

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condition is usually caused by

two

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main

factors

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which are

unemployment

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and

poverty

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. The government should take some actions to provide job opportunities for the citizens, to improve and change their

life

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standards in order to reduce the

crime

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rates. There are

two

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main reasons that contribute to the rise of

crime

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. The first one is

unemployment

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or joblessness.

People

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do not have income anymore because of joblessness and struggle to fulfil their basic

life

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needs like food or even buying a cigarette. The second reason is

poverty

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, which usually can be seen in many big cities. Living in

poverty

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circumstances can make

people

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stressed and find a short way to change their lives. These

two

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factors

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are commonly known as the main reason for many robbery cases that happen in many countries. The government should take some actions to reduce

this

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increasing number of crimes.

Firstly

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, in order to make

people

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have good

life

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standards, the government should provide various kinds of jobs and

also

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training programmes to enhance the citizen's skills and abilities.

In addition

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, when

people

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succeed in having a job, they will make money and can fulfil their basic

life

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needs and reach out from

poverty

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life

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. In many countries these

two

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factors

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are usually related, that when

people

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have a job which means there is no more

unemployment

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, they can improve their

life

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standards to the better one, and

finally

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have an enormous impact on the decreasing number of

crime

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rates. In conclusion,

unemployment

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and

poverty

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are the

two

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main

factors

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that contribute to the increasing rate of

crime

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and can be tackled by providing various kinds of jobs, to reduce the rates.

Submitted by Deddymus on Sun Mar 10 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, it's crucial to fully address all parts of the question. In this case, consider expanding on how exactly poverty and unemployment lead to crime, possibly with more detailed examples or a broader discussion on the social implications. Additionally, incorporating more specific, real-world examples can enhance the credibility and depth of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from more sophisticated linking phrases to better connect ideas across the essay. Also, organizing paragraphs around a single main idea and thoroughly exploring that idea before moving on to the next can enhance clarity and effectiveness. A clearer distinction between paragraphs or sections might also help.

Introduction and Conclusion

Overall, consider revising your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. The introduction could better preview the main points you will explore, and the conclusion could more decisively summarize your arguments and restate why the strategies you propose are effective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparities
socioeconomic backgrounds
illegal activities
lack of education
employment opportunities
breakdown of family structures
community support
proliferation
poverty alleviation
desperation
investing in education
lawful livelihoods
strengthening
counseling
social programs
community policing
strict regulations
possession

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in many countruies, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions for the problem

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?