The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people? How can this problem be solved?
Obesity is a definition of fat accumulation a risk to live. So many people have health issues regarding being overweight. There are a lot of reasons for
this
problem such
as lifestyle and so on. Overweight solutions can be easy and difficult at the same time. In this
essay, the reasons for the growth of overweight and solutions will be explained.
The number of overweight has increased in the last
century to almost double. Moreover
, some research finds this
problem is linked to the new technology besides
the
unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
lifestyle
like food and hippies. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
For example
, humans nowadays are so lazy because of playing video games and watching TV and there are no sports activities at all. In addition
, unhealthy food like fast food, canes and sweets they consumeAdd the comma(s)
, while they are involved in the screens,
while
they are involved in the screens is the major role in this
overweigh growth.
The overweight issue can be solved with many options that will be mentioned. First,
the one who has this
problem must think about himself and be aware of it. Second,
he or she must take strict action to lose weight. For example
, they must have at least 3 sports classes per week and move on a healthy diet that includes vegetables.
This
essay discussed some of the overweigh reasons and solutions. Hence
, many people need more information about Obesity and the way to avoid it. Also
, I think it is better to exchange our experience about this
issue. In conclusion, it is your choice to be healthy by choosing a good and standard lifestyle.Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the reasons why being overweight is increasing, beyond just mentioning technology and lifestyle. Discuss other factors such as dietary habits, mental health, and socioeconomic factors.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss how certain diets contribute to weight gain or how government policies might help address this issue.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, some paragraphs can be more cohesively linked. Use transitional phrases to ensure smooth flow from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and stated clearly. However, strengthening the conclusion with a summary of key points discussed in the essay can further enhance it.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with reasons and solutions being covered in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons for the increase in overweight individuals and potential solutions, indicating a balanced approach.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!