The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #overweigh #reason #growth

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Obesity is a definition of fat accumulation a risk to live. So many people have health issues regarding being overweight. There are a lot of reasons for

this

problem

such

as lifestyle and so on. Overweight solutions can be easy and difficult at the same time. In

this

essay, the reasons for the growth of overweight and solutions will be explained. The number of overweight has increased in the

last

century to almost double.

Moreover

, some research finds

this

problem is linked to the new technology

besides

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

like food and hippies.

For example

, humans nowadays are so lazy because of playing video games and watching TV and there are no sports activities at all.

In addition

, unhealthy food like fast food, canes and sweets they consume

Add the comma(s)

, while they are involved in the screens,

show examples

while

they are involved in the screens is the major role in

this

overweigh growth. The overweight issue can be solved with many options that will be mentioned.

First,

the one who has

this

problem must think about himself and be aware of it.

Second,

he or she must take strict action to lose weight.

For example

, they must have at least 3 sports classes per week and move on a healthy diet that includes vegetables.

This

essay discussed some of the overweigh reasons and solutions.

Hence

, many people need more information about Obesity and the way to avoid it.

Also

, I think it is better to exchange our experience about

this

issue. In conclusion, it is your choice to be healthy by choosing a good and standard lifestyle.

Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on Fri May 17 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on the reasons why being overweight is increasing, beyond just mentioning technology and lifestyle. Discuss other factors such as dietary habits, mental health, and socioeconomic factors.

task achievement

Make sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss how certain diets contribute to weight gain or how government policies might help address this issue.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is logically structured, some paragraphs can be more cohesively linked. Use transitional phrases to ensure smooth flow from one idea to another.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and stated clearly. However, strengthening the conclusion with a summary of key points discussed in the essay can further enhance it.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical, with reasons and solutions being covered in separate paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the reasons for the increase in overweight individuals and potential solutions, indicating a balanced approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
processed foods
nutrition
obesity
physical activity
public health
subsidizing
active commuting
genetic predisposition
dietary habits
fast food
awareness campaigns
healthcare support
economic factors
policy implementation
community involvement

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people? How can this problem be solved?

Your opinion

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funds from government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?