Governments should provide care and finance for retired people while others believe that people themselves should save money when they get older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #care #finance #people #money

Some people argue that it is the

responsibility

of governments to offer assistance to retirees, others believe that

individuals

should take personal

responsibility

for their financial security in old age.

This

essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, retired people who contributed to society throughout their working lives should be supported financially by the state. It is the government’s

responsibility

to establish and manage social security programs,

such

as pensions, to provide financial support to retirees who may not have sufficient savings or income.

Moreover

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should ensure that retired

individuals

have access to affordable healthcare services, including regular check-ups and treatments for

age related

Add a hyphen

age-related

show examples

conditions.

In addition

, public funding should be allocated towards building and maintaining

retirement

homes or assisted living facilities to accommodate the needs of elderly citizens who require specialized care and support.

On the other hand

individuals

should start saving for

retirement

early in their working lives by contributing to

retirement

accounts,

such

as employer-sponsored pension plans or individual

retirement

accounts.

Furthermore

, it is important for people to manage their expenses and live within their means to avoid financial difficulties in

retirement

This

may involve budgeting, reducing unnecessary spending, and prioritizing savings.

Finally

, planning for long-term care needs,

such

as purchasing long-term care insurance or setting aside funds for potential healthcare expenses, is a

responsibility

that

individuals

should take seriously to

insure

Correct your spelling

ensure

show examples

their well-being in old age. In conclusion,

while

governments should provide support for retirees,

individuals

also

need to take proactive steps to secure their financial future.

Submitted by lodele.0203 on Sun Mar 10 2024

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task achievement

Consider incorporating more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument in both the discussion of government responsibility and individual responsibility. While your general points are clear and well-made, the use of particular instances or statistics could provide additional depth.

coherence cohesion

While your essay demonstrates a strong logical structure, consider experimenting with more complex linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly signal your argument progression. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay, ensuring that each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next.

task achievement

To further improve your essay, explicitly state your personal stance in the conclusion. You mention that both governments and individuals have roles to play but elaborating on your perspective with a definitive statement could provide a stronger conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should provide care and finance for retired people while others believe that people themselves should save money when they get older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Successful companies use advertising to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad or a good thing for the society?

man and women studied part time and full time in britain in years 1970 to 1991

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities.Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.