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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?

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Folks these days show less interest in going to
art
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galleries
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 and are not willing to get information about artistic knowledge. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative trend and in the following paragraphs, I will discuss the solutions to
this
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.
Firstly
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, keeping a profound knowledge and visiting museums and
art
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galleries
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 is a genuinely productive activity to do in
this
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 technological era, where everybody loves to watch TV and surfing on the internet
instead
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 of doing something useful. Even there are lots of
art
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 forms exist which depict the sacrifices of soldiers for their country, the old culture, and so many other things. In these cases, youngsters can get motivation from them and can head to the right path. One great example of it is Sarhind Gurudwara Sahib, which is located in Punjab, India. Actually, there are more than 50 statues have been made to present the scene when Sikhs fought to save their religion. It has tried over there to relive the moment so that, youth can be proud of their ancestors and learn from them to be courageous in all situations.
Likewise
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, many other nations present other stuff which inspires everybody and lights the correct path for them in order to achieve success.
Moreover
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, the government can be helpful in getting more people to visit
art
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galleries
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 as they have power and rights.
Such
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 as offering guests free entry into the
galleries
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 just by providing funds to
art
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 show organizers. The Prime Minister of the nation can invite one who will significantly influence the public or authorities can use public faces to attract people ,
for instance
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, actors, YouTubers, social activists, and some other renowned personalities.
Hence
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, these ways will definitely make a huge difference.
To conclude
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, a reduction has been observed by some countries in the amount of visitors to
art
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galleries
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.
This
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 is very disappointing and by following a few things importance of artwork can be taught to the public.

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task achievement
Clarify your main ideas more explicitly to enhance understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly, with each focusing on a single point.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve flow and connections between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant examples and ideas related to the topic.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates an awareness of the importance of art in society.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital entertainment
  • cultural access
  • exhibitions
  • streaming services
  • financial constraints
  • leisure activities
  • interactive experiences
  • immersive
  • marketing strategies
  • outreach
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