Some people belive that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The issue of future careers has sparked considerable debate in recent times.
While
some people
argue that the best way to succeed is to have further
education at a university or college, others maintain that getting a job
right after school
is a better choice. In my opinion, I totally agree with the former point of view. This
essay will explore both sides of this
argument before reaching a conclusion.
On the one hand, there are some arguments in favour of the idea that it is better to get a job
straight after school
. To begin
with, young people
can earn money as soon as they get a job
and be a part of the workforce. It also
means independence to them, they believe that is
a way to feel free and no longer be controlled by their parents. Some of them will plan to save up to afford a home or even start a new family right after getting a job
. Besides
that, high school
leavers believe that entering the workforce will make progress to achieve success more quickly. They can gain real experience from learning practical skills while
beginning employment. Early promotions and having
a successful career are what they aim for when they decide to join the Unnecessary verb
apply
labor
force.
Change the spelling
labour
On the other hand
, there are several reasons to support the statement that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career. Initially
, the main argument would be that many professions nowadays require academic qualifications. It is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or a lawyer without relevant degree. Having university graduates may give graduated students better opportunities and even higher salaries. Another argument would be the recent increase in competition in the job
market. For example
, hundreds of applicants have to compete for only one position in a company. It also
means that people
who have no qualifications may not be able to compete with others.
All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma when people
evaluate the effects of this
issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. As far as I am concerned, I put more emphasis on the idea that students should have further
education after high school
. People
should have further
consideration on this
issue.Submitted by mgnm140307 on
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task achievement
Consider providing more concrete and specific examples to strengthen your points. It would make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is fairly clear, ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. Group related ideas together, and avoid jumping between thoughts.
task achievement
Though your points are valid, elaborate a bit more on why you believe further education is more beneficial. This could add more depth to your argument and make your stance clearer.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which contribute positively to the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the question and explores both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well-done, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.