IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information on the internet.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #information #internet
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that education centres are not necessary at all because many individuals gain
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all
Use synonyms
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
 by searching on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.From my point of view,I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. First of all one of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 argument
,
Add a missing verb
is,significant
show examples
Correct article usage
the significant
show examples
significant
Replace the word
significance
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 and value of educational centres like schools,institutions,
universities
Correct word choice
and universities
show examples
.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 educational centres improve and help
Use synonyms
peopleʼs
Correct your spelling
people
background
Change preposition
with background
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
.An educated person has a strong view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 science.
This
Linking Words
 knowledgeable person
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to
childern
Correct your spelling
children
,
students
Correct word choice
and students
show examples
.But
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
Use synonyms
 has no these kinds of choices.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
Change preposition
of untruth
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untruth
Change preposition
of untruth
show examples
Correct your spelling
information
informations
Correct your spelling
information
.Despite all the different kinds of information and data on the
internet
Use synonyms
,these
imporatant
Correct your spelling
important
 activities cannot be found on the
internet
Use synonyms
 sites.
Another reasons
Replace the adjective
Another reason
Other reasons
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 argument,some online
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 not suitable for children who study at school.
Likewise
Linking Words
,online sites like social programmes do not have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enough available resources.
This
Linking Words
 is one of the important online data
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 cause some problems.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can get bored if they always
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Furthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,some websites are managed by illiterate
people
Use synonyms
 without any professional education.These can be more difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 readers.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
medical science can be shared
knowledge
Use synonyms
 by professional
people
Use synonyms
.If more important subjects and professions are not taught by a professional professor,
as a result
Linking Words
,these situations increase of illiterate
people
Use synonyms
 in many countries.
To conclude
Linking Words
,I totally disagree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that learn on the
internet
Use synonyms
.In my opinion,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 at schools,
universities
Correct word choice
and universities
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professors
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
many
Replace the word
more
show examples
 advantageous than
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument for a more balanced approach, even if you choose to strongly agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on individual arguments, and a concise conclusion to enhance the logical flow and clarity.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and reasons. Avoid general statements to make your argument more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Frequent grammatical errors and limited vocabulary range can distract from the clarity and quality of the response.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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