In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reaons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The crime rate is increasing around the globe in a lot of countries. There are many reasons behind
this
phenomenon,
however
, from my viewpoint, I think that the major causes are: low income, literacy and unemployment.
This
overarching problem could be tackled if the government took some measures that will be discussed in
this
essay. One main cause for the large spread of crime is poverty, which results in the lack of job opportunities in certain areas.
Due to
the great number of residents in some cities, there are not enough jobs for everyone. Another reason why people tend to commit crimes is the absence of the existence of an efficient education for the public.
Hence
,
this
factor creates an ignorant generation that would not distinguish between right and wrong.
Furthermore
, uneducated individuals will not be able to find well-paying jobs, making it problematic for these society members to have a decent income and provide for their families as they do not have enough money to cover their household expenses. An effective solution for the previously mentioned issues would be the enforcement of minimal education of high school
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
,
as well as
providing more vacancies for the craftsmen who could not fulfil their academic studies. Alongside offering free college education for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outstanding students, the government should raise the awareness of the crowd about the importance of knowledge for the betterment of the quality of life in general. Strick laws could deter criminals from criminal activities,
this
includes spending time in jail and doing community service. In conclusion, I believe that the number of crimes can be limited when following the steps suggested above by governments that want to enhance the security status of their countries.
Submitted by shaikha.alsaif4 on

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task achievement
You have successfully discussed multiple causes of crime, including low income, lack of education, and unemployment. However, providing relevant and specific examples could further strengthen your argument and make your essay even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence further, you might consider using more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sections.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a clear, comprehensive response with relevant solutions to tackle the causes of crime.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, and each paragraph has a distinct purpose, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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