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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The graph shows the report from a survey about tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying and drinking behaviour in five cities in Australia. Categorized by colours, there are three categories which are people who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, and went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea within the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks observed.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar charts show similar patterns.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 average, people in all five cities
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
 the most on the people went to a café, followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying, and the least
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying. Of the five cities, the peak number goes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying in Melbourne and Hobart with just above 60%, which is nearly two times bigger than the lowest number, which is the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying in both Brisbane and Adelaide.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 only minor variances with no more than
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% difference. In conclusion, there is no enormous fluctuation in
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
an overall
show examples
 graph, all the bar chart shows similar characteristics.
Submitted by writing9bersama on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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