The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

The gap between wealthy and poor
countries
is growing and
becaming
Correct your spelling
becoming
wider. In my opinion, the main
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
for
this
may be the fact that some of the rich
nations
use
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
resources of
a poor
Correct the article-noun agreement
poor countries
a poor country
show examples
countries
. It would be beneficial for a society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if developed
countries
rather invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
developing
nations
. In the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
there is a huge gap between wealthy developed
countries
and the ones who are just on the way to build a stable economy. Some
countries
from the list of
a top economies
Correct the article-noun agreement
top economies
a top economy
show examples
in the world use
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
show examples
and human resources of
a poor
Correct the article-noun agreement
poor countries
a poor country
show examples
countries
. It is happening first of all because it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way cheaper to hire employees from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third world
countries
, all hard work is done by them,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
all income goes to the GDP of the lead
nations
. The second reason is ecology, most of the productions that
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
a dramatic negative effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
nature are relocated to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
poor
countries
.
Therefore
, that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
causes the fact that rich
countries
becaming
Correct your spelling
become
even more wealthy, by using
a poor
Correct the article-noun agreement
poor nations
a poor nation
show examples
nations
. One of the solutions is an investment from wealthy
countries
into
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
growing economies of
a developing
Correct the article-noun agreement
developing nations
a developing nation
show examples
nations
. There should be not just financial investments, but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural
Correct pronoun usage
cultural ones
show examples
.
For example
opening of
an institutes
Correct the article-noun agreement
institutes
an institute
show examples
, like schools or universities,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will lead to a new highly educated generation of
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
specialists. I think that for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
both parties should put
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
effort. If developing
countries
increasse theire
Correct your spelling
increase their
economy, they would be a place of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific and cultural
inovations
Correct your spelling
innovations
rather than just cheap
reasurces
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You've made a good attempt at addressing the essay question, touching upon reasons for the inequality and proposing solutions. However, more specific examples and data could make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. Consider adding statistics or real-world cases to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas can be improved. Make use of transition words and phrases to better link your sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay read more smoothly and enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While you've provided an introduction and conclusion, consider refining these to make your stance clear right from the beginning and to more effectively summarize your main points at the end. Strong opening and closing paragraphs will enhance the impact of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: