At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether the dominant amount of young
people
over the older ones in a country is beneficial or not is a topic which bears some consideration. The writer argues that the upsides of guaranteeing a future workforce and the open-mindedness of the youths overshadow any of the drawbacks.
One of the most advantageous aspects of having a young population is how it can ensure a promising labour
force for the nation. In other words
, for most countries in the world youths comprise of
the majority of their human resources which is the main attribution to economic development, Change preposition
apply
therefore
, a huge amount of people
of their work age can guarantee a
stable growth of a nation when the Correct article usage
the
labour
demand is met. For example
, Vietnam is known to have a very young workforce compare
to the rest of the globe and that results directly in its magical development rate after the war.
Another perk worth mentioning is the willingness to change of those youths. Simply put, the young generation is more open and adaptable when it comes to the ever-changing world around them so if the government has any new policies or initiatives, it will take less time for them to adjust and make things work. Wrong verb form
compared
As a result
, the nation can grow at a much faster pace and greatly benefit its people
.
By contrast
, there are some individuals who believe that too many young people
will overload the job market and lead to unemployment. To explain in more detail, as the number of those who are looking for a job increases day by day, there might be a chance that there will not be enough positions to provide for all of them and the country will end up with employment
crisis. Correct article usage
an employment
However
, this
is just a common misconception because as society develops, the need for labour
also
rises correspondingly with it so there will always be available sources of jobs waiting for someone to take over.
In conclusion, although
having a youth-dominant population brings the misconception of the potential scarcity of jobs, it is outweighed by the pros of enhancing the future labour
force and being more willing to change.Submitted by 11E4 Community on
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Introduction
Work on a clearer and more concise introduction. Try to succinctly introduce the topic and your stance on it, avoiding unnecessary complexity.
Logical Structure
Improve logical flow by better organizing your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous one.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your stance on the topic, providing a clear closure.
Relevant Specific Examples
Be more vigilant in providing specific and concrete examples to support your claims. While general statements have their place, detailed examples make your argument more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.