it is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. what are the causes and solutions
In
this
day and age, there are more and more people
spending less time
with their family. This
essay will examine the causes and possible influences of this
problem. First,
there are some explanations that are worh
mentioning about Correct your spelling
worth
this
problem. The first reason is that beacuse
of the fast pace of modern life, Correct your spelling
because
people
are now living a busier one and spend a lot of time
for
Change preposition
on
work
. It is increasingly common that people
tend to lose the balance between family and clerical work
. For example
, because of the heavy workload
many workers have to Add a comma
workload,
work
more than 10 hours a day, and sometimes they are required to work
during weekend
or overnight to meet the deadline. The development of social media is the second reason for Add an article
the weekend
this
issue. That parents and children
stay together but hold their own mobile phones or laptops to communicate with online friends on social netwwork
Correct your spelling
networks
network
instead
of talking with each other is easily
on these days.
Change the word
easy
This
issue is having considerable impacts on both individuals themselves and family. First,
it is believed that family is where people
can share their feelings and problems, which help
them to release their stress. Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
However
,people
may experience emotional distress if they do not receive proper support from his/ her immediate family. Second,
the links between parents and children
may be weakened. For instance
, when parents do not spend much time
with their children
, their children
will lack of
appropriate parental care and attention and are likely to follow a path towards criminal Remove the preposition
apply
behaviors
.
In a nutshell, there are two main factors leading to the fact that Change the spelling
behaviours
people
hardly make time
for their family and not only individuals but also
the family may suffer from this
trend in both physical and emotional ways.Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Your essay does not directly address the provided topic about physical exercise in cities, which negatively affects your score in task response. Ensure you thoroughly understand and directly respond to the prompt provided.
Coherence and Cohesion
Create a more structured essay by clearly dividing it into paragraphs, each addressing a distinct point. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on creating a logical outline before you start writing. This should include a clear introduction, a body with distinct paragraphs for each point, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples should clearly illustrate the issue discussed and offer concrete evidence or scenarios that relate directly to the topic.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion