Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are contradictory views about whether
sports
have their contributions to the
society or they are forms of Correct article usage
apply
entertainments
. Both schools of thought will be discussed, followed by my own opinions.
Those who argue that Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
sports
benefit the
society may have Correct article usage
apply
following
reasons.
For one thing, our habit of exercising regularly can indirectly reduce governments’ expenditure on medical services. Correct article usage
the following
For instance
, it is Beijingers’ every
increasing time spent on physical activities that has improved their health, which has reduced the government’s spending on health care.
For another, Correct determiner usage
apply
sports
events can catalyse an area’s economy. This
is because international competitions such
as the World Cup always lure millions of visitors to the host city, stimulating demand in not only sports
fields but also
in the hospitality industry. This
development will eventually drive the
economic growth.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, opponents think sports
are only recreational activities. From an emotional perspective, physical activities make us feel relaxed and optimistic.
For example
, if we exercise after a busy day , our stress and pressure can be alleviated, positive
emotions Correct word choice
and positive
such
as pleasure can be triggered. This
will unwind and refresh our minds. From a social welling
perspective, participating in team Correct your spelling
well-being
sports
provides us a chance to socialise with friends or enjoy family time (b),cultivating bonded and close relationships. Consequently
, we will feel belonged
and Wrong verb form
belong
connected
in Add a missing verb
are connected
this
hectic and demanding world.
As discussed above, since both two arguments are reasonable and backed up with relevant examples, I believe that sports
have their values for both individuals and the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by JJ on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay. While you did introduce both views and your own stance, consider making it more concise to engage the reader immediately.
coherence cohesion
Integrate your examples more smoothly within the flow of your arguments. While your examples are strong, linking them more cohesively with your main points can make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Reiterate your stance clearly in the conclusion to ensure the reader understands your final opinion after discussing both views. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your discussion and clearly spell out your stance.
task achievement
Expand your discussion on why you believe sports have values for both individuals and society. Providing more expansive reasoning or additional examples could strengthen your argument and make your position more convincing.
task achievement
Check for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity. While the overall essay is well-written, refining these aspects can enhance readability and professionalism.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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