Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Several
people
believe that
newspapers
are the best
media
to acquire knowledge of
news
. For some
people
,
news
can be learned from other
media
. I believe that both of these views are valid, but I side with those who think that
news
can be learned from other
media
. Some
people
might choose
newspapers
as
media
to gather
news
. Nowadays, some groups, like elderly
people
, are still using
newspapers
to learn the
news
.
This
is because
newspapers
are easy to get and they are more familiar with it.
Moreover
, they can annotate it directly.
Newspapers
are not the only
media
for
people
to learn some
news
, other
media
can
also
be used for several reasons.
Firstly
,
televisions
are now available and known as one of the best sources for pieces of information.
Moreover
, almost all
people
have
televisions
in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
right now because it has various benefits.
Televisions
provide a clear explanation in terms of delivering
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
For instance
, it gives a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
picture and video to describe some events. In comparison to
newspapers
that are usually black and white,
televisions
present a wide range of
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
.
Secondly
, online
media
are now using websites and applications to write or publish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current
news
. Online
media
can be easily reached
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by using mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
or other different types of gadgets.
Moreover
, it is more convenient because it can be accessed anywhere. It is
also
more comfortable for some
people
because they do not have to bring any additional papers. In conclusion,
newspapers
are one of the
media
that still exist
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now because more
people
are familiar with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, especially elder
people
. I,
therefore
, remain convinced that other
media
such
as television and online
media
can be used for learning some
news
.
Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main topic that is developed logically. Your essay shows some structure but could benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the issue to provide a clear direction for your essay. This helps in achieving a more complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
To improve on task achievement, ensure that your ideas are not only clear, but also fully elaborated. Use specific examples or evidence to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly. This will also help in providing a more structured flow to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news coverage
  • perspectives
  • opinions
  • accessed
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • multimedia
  • combination
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