IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A part of society believes that learning online is a better option to gain qualifications, rather than attending
school
Use synonyms
.
While
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 others reject that notion and say that attending
school
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 is vital. I wholeheartedly agree that gaining qualifications by going to learning institutions is important because professional help is available at institutes and a competitive surrounding is
also
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 essential for the college juvenile that will help them learn in a better manner.
To begin
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 with the first testimonial, the primary extrapolate is that online learning helps save time and energy for the learners because in the morning the roads are stuck
due to
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 traffic congestion and they need to wait in traffic for long hours
while
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 going to schools and
this
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 drains their energy
along with
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 wasting their precious time.
Furthermore
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, online learning might assist in making a strong bond between the children and their guardians because their parents can render help to their kids in making assignments and
this
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 may
also
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 help the elderly to have a better understanding of their peers.
For example
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, during COVID in 2020, the relationship between youngsters and their parents was improved because they were spending a lot of quality time together
due to
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 online
classes
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 of their children.
This
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 helped them understand each other. On the flip side, if the learners are attending the schools they get professional help from their tutors which is not possible by taking online
classes
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. By going to
school
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, students can clear their doubts and can score better grades.
Moreover
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, when tutees attend the
classes
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 at schools in person they can indulge in various competitions that can help them to improve their skills.
For instance
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, as per the results of Delhi Public
School
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, in 2021, 30 students scored above 90%
due to
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 the sense of winning the competition to achieve the reward of $2000.
Thus
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, attending
school
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 is always a good choice because it helps students to polish their skills and have excellent qualifications.
To conclude
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, as per the reasons mentioned above, taking online and offline
classes
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 have their benefits but in my view attending
classes
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 is a prudent choice because professional support
as well as
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 a competitive environment are relentlessly necessary.

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Introduction
Your introduction provides a clear overview, but make sure to fully paraphrase the statement from the question prompt for a more nuanced start.
Task Response
Ensure your opinion is clearly stated in both the introduction and the conclusion for a balanced argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments in a more detailed manner, presenting a broader range of ideas and discussing each side equally before providing your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words to smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the logical flow of your essay.
Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you used examples, ensuring they are detailed and relevant will strengthen your argument.
Language Use
To avoid repetition, try expanding your vocabulary with synonyms and varied sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • customizable learning pace
  • global connectivity
  • social skills development
  • self-discipline
  • unequal access to technology
  • structured environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • supervised learning
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • peer pressure
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