Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A part of society believes that learning online is a better option to gain qualifications, rather than attending

school

Use synonyms

While

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others reject that notion and say that attending

school

Use synonyms

is vital. I wholeheartedly agree that gaining qualifications by going to learning institutions is important because professional help is available at institutes and a competitive surrounding is

also

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essential for the college juvenile that will help them learn in a better manner.

To begin

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with the first testimonial, the primary extrapolate is that online learning helps save time and energy for the learners because in the morning the roads are stuck

due to

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traffic congestion and they need to wait in traffic for long hours

while

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going to schools and

this

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drains their energy

along with

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wasting their precious time.

Furthermore

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, online learning might assist in making a strong bond between the children and their guardians because their parents can render help to their kids in making assignments and

this

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may

also

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help the elderly to have a better understanding of their peers.

For example

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, during COVID in 2020, the relationship between youngsters and their parents was improved because they were spending a lot of quality time together

due to

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online

classes

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of their children.

This

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helped them understand each other. On the flip side, if the learners are attending the schools they get professional help from their tutors which is not possible by taking online

classes

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. By going to

school

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, students can clear their doubts and can score better grades.

Moreover

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, when tutees attend the

classes

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at schools in person they can indulge in various competitions that can help them to improve their skills.

For instance

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, as per the results of Delhi Public

School

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, in 2021, 30 students scored above 90%

due to

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the sense of winning the competition to achieve the reward of $2000.

Thus

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, attending

school

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is always a good choice because it helps students to polish their skills and have excellent qualifications.

To conclude

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, as per the reasons mentioned above, taking online and offline

classes

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have their benefits but in my view attending

classes

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is a prudent choice because professional support

as well as

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a competitive environment are relentlessly necessary.

ss6802125Wed Mar 13 2024

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Introduction

Your introduction provides a clear overview, but make sure to fully paraphrase the statement from the question prompt for a more nuanced start.

Task Response

Ensure your opinion is clearly stated in both the introduction and the conclusion for a balanced argument.

Task Achievement

Develop your arguments in a more detailed manner, presenting a broader range of ideas and discussing each side equally before providing your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more varied linking words to smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the logical flow of your essay.

Examples

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you used examples, ensuring they are detailed and relevant will strengthen your argument.

Language Use

To avoid repetition, try expanding your vocabulary with synonyms and varied sentence structures.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

363 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

customizable learning pace
global connectivity
social skills development
self-discipline
unequal access to technology
structured environment
extracurricular activities
supervised learning
one-size-fits-all approach
peer pressure

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