You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

Dear Sir/Madam I am writing

this

letter to let you know that I am interested and would like to purchase some electrical goods at your shop. I would like to ask you, Do you have a washing machine or not, If you do not have one, can you order it for me. By another way, Can I order it online on your website ?

In addition

, I would like to know how much a washing machine costs. I was wondering if you could provide me with more details about

this

good. It can help me easily make a decision, especially if it makes me confident,

this

good is the thing that I really want to use.

Lastly

, I want to ask you How long you can hold a washing machine for me ?, because I went to visit my family in Chaiyaphum province

last

month, and I will return to my house next week. I would be very grateful if you could hold it for me. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Victor

Submitted by mahawichet on Fri Dec 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing conventions are handled well, but there are significant issues with the overall logical structure of your letter. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear objective and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth to guide the reader through your points.

task achievement

Your letter partially achieves the task, but you should directly list out the items you are interested in, rather than posing them as questions. Inquiries about availability, prices, and holding timeframes should be more structured and clear.

coherence cohesion

To improve your score, aim for a clear and organized structure. Begin with an introductory paragraph, followed by separate paragraphs for inquiries about product availability, cost, and storage time. Close with a concise summary or a polite request for the information.

task achievement

Ensure that you always provide a clear and detailed request in your writing. It's also important to respect formalities without introducing informal language or tone, as you are writing to a business.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

176 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attendtion to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The given picture shows the process of making electricity from coal. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Advantages Disadvantages Essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.

*Write about the following topic: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. *Why might this be the case? *Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Write about the following topic: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? *Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?