You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing
this
letter to let you know that I am interested and would like to purchase some electrical goods at your shop. I would like to ask you, Do you have a washing machine or not, If you do not have one, can you order it for me. By another way, Can I order it online on your website ?
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In addition
, I would like to know how much a washing machine costs. I was wondering if you could provide me with more details about Linking Words
this
good. It can help me easily make a decision, especially if it makes me confident, Linking Words
this
good is the thing that I really want to use.
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Lastly
, I want to ask you How long you can hold a washing machine for me ?, because I went to visit my family in Chaiyaphum province Linking Words
last
month, and I will return to my house next week. I would be very grateful if you could hold it for me.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
VictorLinking Words
Submitted by mahawichet on
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coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing conventions are handled well, but there are significant issues with the overall logical structure of your letter. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear objective and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Your letter partially achieves the task, but you should directly list out the items you are interested in, rather than posing them as questions. Inquiries about availability, prices, and holding timeframes should be more structured and clear.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score, aim for a clear and organized structure. Begin with an introductory paragraph, followed by separate paragraphs for inquiries about product availability, cost, and storage time. Close with a concise summary or a polite request for the information.
task achievement
Ensure that you always provide a clear and detailed request in your writing. It's also important to respect formalities without introducing informal language or tone, as you are writing to a business.