Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give opinion.
Many undergraduate prefer offering extra courses alongside their major course, as
this
helps to broaden their intelligence. While
some believe focusing on their major certification areas is paramount. In this
essay, both sides will be explored followed by my opinion.
On the one hand, many students think extra lessons are necessary to help broaden their intelligence and improve their skills in diverse areas. So, undergraduates are not limited to their qualifications only but they also
, know a thing or two about different subjects
. Furthermore
, this
additional information can be useful outside of school, to enable them to get a job or become entrepreneurs. Because, especially in developing countries where jobs are hard to get, these skills and knowledge are very important to earn a living. For example
, according to
statistics, in Ghana, only 23% of graduates work in organizations related to their qualifications. The rest are entrepreneurs and few work in jobs different from what they studied.
On the other hand
, many scholars believe extra subjects
are not needed as they can be distracting and time-consuming. These subjects
are capable of diverting scholar's attention from their major subject. As a result
, this
can lead to poor educational qualifications. In addition
, learning more subjects
requires time which is often not enough for the student to focus on their major course. For instance
, students who study medicine usually complain of having a lot of studying to do with less time. Adding, more classwork will eventually lead to poor grades.
In conclusion, although
to some students, extra lessons are needed to improve their knowledge. Others think it is unnecessary. In my opinion, it is cumbersome for a student to add more courses to an existing primary subject. This
,
can result in, a loss of focus and poor grade qualification.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by Emmanuelodachi on
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Task Achievement
Be sure to fully develop your ideas with clear explanations and more detailed examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas within the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you've made a good effort to introduce and conclude your essay, ensure that your introduction more precisely outlines the specific viewpoints you will discuss. A clearer thesis statement could enhance the reader's understanding of your essay's direction.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
It's good to include examples to support your points, but try to ensure they are directly relevant and detailed. Adding more specific details or statistics could strengthen your arguments further.