Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many undergraduate prefer offering extra courses alongside their major course, as
this
Linking Words
helps to broaden their intelligence.
While
Linking Words
some believe focusing on their major certification areas is paramount. In
this
Linking Words
essay, both sides will be explored followed by my opinion. On the one hand, many students think extra lessons are necessary to help broaden their intelligence and improve their skills in diverse areas. So, undergraduates are not limited to their qualifications only but they
also
Linking Words
, know a thing or two about different
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
additional information can be useful outside of school, to enable them to get a job or become entrepreneurs. Because, especially in developing countries where jobs are hard to get, these skills and knowledge are very important to earn a living.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
statistics, in Ghana, only 23% of graduates work in organizations related to their qualifications. The rest are entrepreneurs and few work in jobs different from what they studied.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many scholars believe extra
subjects
Use synonyms
are not needed as they can be distracting and time-consuming. These
subjects
Use synonyms
are capable of diverting scholar's attention from their major subject.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can lead to poor educational qualifications.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning more
subjects
Use synonyms
requires time which is often not enough for the student to focus on their major course.
For instance
Linking Words
, students who study medicine usually complain of having a lot of studying to do with less time. Adding, more classwork will eventually lead to poor grades. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
to some students, extra lessons are needed to improve their knowledge. Others think it is unnecessary. In my opinion, it is cumbersome for a student to add more courses to an existing primary subject.
This
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can result in, a loss of focus and poor grade qualification.
Submitted by Emmanuelodachi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Be sure to fully develop your ideas with clear explanations and more detailed examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas within the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you've made a good effort to introduce and conclude your essay, ensure that your introduction more precisely outlines the specific viewpoints you will discuss. A clearer thesis statement could enhance the reader's understanding of your essay's direction.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
It's good to include examples to support your points, but try to ensure they are directly relevant and detailed. Adding more specific details or statistics could strengthen your arguments further.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: