Children weight are increasing over the years. What are the reasons? What can be done?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It cannot denied that health issues among

children

Use synonyms

become the topic of debate. Obesity is one of the major concerns in these problems because of poor eating habits, less physical activity

as well as

Linking Words

lack of awareness. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss these causes

as well as

Linking Words

some solutions to curb

this

Linking Words

menace.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the main reason behind

this

Linking Words

trend is the bad and irregular eating habits of increasing

weight

Use synonyms

in teenagers.

For instance

Linking Words

, young

children

Use synonyms

prefer to eat junk food like burgers, noodles, pizzas and many more which are oily and difficult to digest.

Moreover

Linking Words

, nowadays school goers are less active than the past generation they spend their most of time in front of a screen

instead

Linking Words

of playing outdoor games.

Consequently

Linking Words

, there is no physical activity to maintain fitness which results in more

weight

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the modern education system does not provide the required knowledge about the benefits of good health

therefore

Linking Words

majority of students are not aware of the side effects of increasing

weight

Use synonyms

and related diseases. Despite these causes, there are certain solutions that can be implemented to control

this

Linking Words

situation before it becomes worse. At home, parents should keep an eye on their

children

Use synonyms

and give them limited time to use the smart digital device

as well as

Linking Words

encourage them to eat healthy food like fruits.

However

Linking Words

, in schools teachers should organize some games and encourage the students to participate in these activities it will not only help to maintain fitness but

also

Linking Words

develop the social skills which assist in the

overall

Linking Words

development of

children

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, there should be seminars in the institutions to provide awareness about the side effects of obesity among

children

Use synonyms

so that they can take some actions to control their poor eating habits. In conclusion, It can be analysed that the increment in the

weight

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

alarming

Add an article

an alarming

show examples

situation for the unhealthy coming generation

therefore

Linking Words

high authorities and the general public should take some strict actions to handle

this

Linking Words

before it becomes a hard nut to crack.

Submitted by kkaur9391 on Thu Mar 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make your arguments more structured and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by evidence or examples, and conclude the paragraph with a summary or a link to the next point.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview and summary of your points, respectively. Continue to develop these sections to directly address the essay question for a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you mention junk food and physical inactivity, incorporating specific studies or statistical data can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. While your response covers reasons and solutions, a greater focus on elaborating these points with clear, specific, and well-explained ideas could enhance task achievement.

task achievement

Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas. Varied language and complex grammatical structures can demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that maintaining public libraries is no longer necessary in today’s world because the development of computer technology has allowed us to access a great deal of information on the internet more efficiently. While I accept that there are clear benefits of online libraries over public libraries, I believe that it is still worth spending money on maintaining public libraries.
6.5
band
Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent days, it has become increasingly common for people to own private vehicles, namely cars. Although it is true that this can increase mobility for individuals, it seems to me that there are more implications of private car ownership, such as environmental concerns and public congestion, that should be taken into account.
7
band
The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Advanced research in universities is restrained because lack of finances. Some say that the government should support them with money but only in the scientific field since other subjects are less beneficial. This essay totally disagrees with the statement because experiments in other areas are also essential and it is unfair to give special treatment to one group of students.
8
band
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?
Generally, manufacturing is necessary to meet the demand of consumers. However, In recent years, there has been a fact that the more convenience goods manufacturing develops, the more seriously the ecosystem is injured. This is because the factories emit so much toxic wastewater into the land and pollutants into the atmosphere during the manufacturing process, and these problems can be solved by adopting certain policies.
6.5
band
A country becomes more interesting and develop more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Admittedly, globalization has made people move farther from their homeland and the establishment of multicultural nations has become more pervasive ever since. One state could consist of different combinations of nationalities which lead to a more captivating sphere and expand more rapidly. I profoundly agree with that notion and will explain the reasons in these subsequent parts of the essay.

Children weight are increasing over the years. What are the reasons? What can be done?

Your opinion

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

A country becomes more interesting and develop more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?