Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #phones #case #development

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Progressing technology and

availability

Correct article usage

the availability

show examples

of electronic gadgets have resulted in spending excess time on

cellphones

Correct your spelling

cell phones

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or tablets, especially, among the younger generations.

While

Linking Words

some would argue that the

overall

Linking Words

impact of

this

Linking Words

trend has been positive, in

this

Linking Words

essay I would contend that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

utilizing smartphones by school

children

Use synonyms

would

constitutes

Change the verb form

constitute

show examples

some potential risks and

also

Linking Words

explain some sources of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon. First of all, it is an

undisputable

Correct your spelling

indisputable

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fact that the pandemic of Covid 19 in

2020had

Correct your spelling

2020 had

a significant role in

prevailing

Correct article usage

the prevailing

show examples

cellphones among school

children

Use synonyms

. Breaking out

this

Linking Words

fatal disease , confronted

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

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all over the world with recession. In order to deter the crisis of illiteracy, online education,

therefore

Linking Words

, became a constructive solution in that situation. So,

this

Linking Words

became a persuasive excuse for utilizing electrical gadgets including tablets or cell phones by

children

Use synonyms

for the purposes of education.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, good-looking games, provided for younger age groups

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

attracted their attention exponentially and distract them from more crucial educational subjects. More importantly, technology has revolutionized the way we communicate and facilitated the flow of information.

Linking Words

Nonetheless

Add a comma

Nonetheless,

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it has been accompanied

with

Change preposition

show examples

some challenges like social isolation; a situation seen in

children

Use synonyms

who, spend too much time

Change preposition

show examples

their

cellphones

Correct your spelling

cell phones

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, Rather than relating to peers in the real world. Continuing

this

Linking Words

trend, particularly without supervision on the part of parents, educational systems,

as well as

Linking Words

governments, will

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

fall to their collaborative skills and sense of community. Admittedly, unlimited availability of these gadgets accompanied with access to the internet could expose

children

Use synonyms

to a vast amount of information that some would consider offensive or dangerous ranging from pornography to instructions on how to make a bomb. By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that there is no necessity to possess smartphones from

such

Linking Words

an early age.

Instead

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encouraging

children

Use synonyms

to take part in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real physical or mental activities would be more advisable and justifiable.

Submitted by golriiz23 on Thu Mar 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader's understanding throughout the essay. This establishes a clear position from the beginning.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples from your own knowledge or experience to support your arguments. This can significantly strengthen your task response by making it more tangible and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This can help in linking ideas more clearly and improving readability.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and punctuation for improved clarity and professionalism. Varying sentence length and complexity can make the essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos that can distract readers. Proofreading can greatly improve the quality of your writing.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence ehance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?

In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?