In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?
Some
people
saying that people
have health problems. That is
because, more and more eat junk
food and live an unhealthy lifestyle. Now I am going to discuss this
essay by giving my own opinion to solutions.
On the one hand, nowadays, many people
come across with different kind of health problems. For instance
: obesity is a common disease in the world. That is
because, absolutely unhealthy lifestyle and eat junk
foods
. Many people
addicted to eat fast foods
. Fast foods
: delicious and comfortable for everyone. Nevertheless
, it has more disadvantages than advantages. Junk
foods
prepare from the undercooked meat, it is a biggest disadvantages of junk
foods
.
On the other hand
, we are the main reason for this
situation. These days, more and more humans are becoming so lazy. We have to solve that. That is
why, government should do some marathons or other sport types. Also
government need to banned eat junk
foods
. Maybe it will work.
By way of conclusion, I am of the opinion that unhealthy lifestyle triggering early death as well as
obesity is clearly a problem of such
complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. Nonetheless
, I firmly believe that doing sports and eat healthy foods
would constitute a very good first step.Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on
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task achievement
To enhance your score in task response, ensure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. This includes both discussing the reasons behind unhealthy lifestyles and suggesting detailed, plausible solutions. Incorporate specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure and flow of your essay for better coherence and cohesion. Start with a clear introduction that outlines your main points. Then, use paragraphs effectively: one for reasons and another for solutions. Link ideas and paragraphs using transition words ('Furthermore', 'However', 'In addition'). This will make your essay more logical and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, provide concrete examples and evidence. Instead of general statements about obesity and junk food, include statistics, studies, or specific incidents that highlight the severity of the problem and the effectiveness of proposed solutions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?