IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the reasons for this trend, and how can governments address this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
rates
Use synonyms
 of crimes being committed in many countries are increasing.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon occurs
due to
Linking Words
 low levels of economic stability and job
opportunities
Use synonyms
. To address
this
Linking Words
 concern, governments should focus on creating more employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 strengthening law enforcement The rising
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in many countries can be attributed to economic instability, as poverty and unemployment often push individuals toward criminal activities as a means of survival.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lack of access to quality education and skill development contributes to the problem, as uneducated individuals are less likely to secure well-paying jobs and more likely to engage in illegal activities.
For example
Linking Words
, studies have shown that areas with higher unemployment
rates
Use synonyms
 and limited educational
opportunities
Use synonyms
 tend to have significantly higher
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
, as people struggle to find legitimate ways to improve their living conditions.
Thus
Linking Words
, a combination of economic hardship and limited job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 creates a breeding ground for criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in many societies. To counteract these dangers, governments must address both economic and social causes. Creating more jobs through infrastructure projects and incentives for business expansion can provide financial stability for marginalized communities.
For example
Linking Words
, initiatives like subsidizing local businesses or investing in public works can generate employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for those in need, reducing the likelihood of criminal activity.
Additionally
Linking Words
, strengthening law enforcement through increased police presence and fostering trust with communities deters criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 rehabilitation programs ensure offenders reintegrate successfully. By combining these measures, governments can effectively reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 and build a safer, more equitable society. In conclusion, the increase in
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 is largely driven by poverty and unemployment, which force individuals to resort to illegal activities as a means of survival in challenging circumstances.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue can be mitigated through the creation of more employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and the enhancement of law enforcement efforts, ensuring both economic stability and public safety.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking words or phrases to emphasize these connections.
Task Response
Discuss additional factors that might contribute to crime rates, such as social influences or personal issues, for a more comprehensive response.
Coherence
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
Task Achievement
It fully addresses the question, identifying key reasons behind increasing crime rates and suggesting government interventions.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the link between unemployment rates and crime, strengthens the arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: