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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

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As a result
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, technological innovation extremely influences people's lives. It is generally accepted that the usage of devices including mobile phones become common for numerous
children
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.
However
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, they might spend their
time
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 on their mobile phones every day for several purposes. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the possible supporting reasons and the crucial trends. It is certainly true that there are several reasons why more and more
children
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 use smartphones in their daily lives. The first and Foremost is education, which can mean that online study increasingly impacts tutorial sessions, resulting in a good grade.
Additionally
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, some parents provide studying aboard of online classes, which often causes online meetings , especially via Zoom and Google Meet.
Furthermore
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, the fact various educational institutions widely access worldwide students leads to convenient and affordable tuition fees technically.
Secondly
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, social media in a variety of platforms significantly brings about negative sources, resulting in sleep issues. Not only is it a source of social addiction but it conceivably
also
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 provides fake news to the readers. These factors contribute to
children
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 spending a large amount of
time
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 on their gadgets without consideration.
For instance
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, some parents do not take action on restrictions on how much the amount of spending
time
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 should be enough, causing limited habits. Regarding the trend, the argument possibly could be a negative trend in numerous ways
due to
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children
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's purposes.
Consequently
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, the wall of offspring's privacy will create hidden objects because spending a day on online social is able to receive weird behaviour or self-esteem. Even though public news could be entertainment and advertisements, it adversely impacts persuading the readers to believe.
Lastly
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, the risk of criminal activities frequently happens rather than preventing them. In conclusion, letting offspring spend
time
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 on their devices is a controversial topic.
Although
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 using a smartphone can be beneficial, there are some drawbacks to consider. In my opinion, I tend to believe that the limitation of usage phones should be suggested in each household to the custody of their offspring and raise awareness among the users carefully.

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and outline your position or main points. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your overall stance.
Cohesion
Use paragraphs clearly to differentiate between your ideas, and use linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'For instance') to help the reader follow your argument. This will improve the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay.
Task Response
Address the task directly by ensuring that you fully answer all parts of the question. If the question asks for reasons and opinions on whether it's a positive or negative trend, make sure both elements are clearly and distinctly addressed in your essay.
Support & Examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your main points. These examples can be hypothetical, from your own experience, or more general observations. They serve to illustrate and strengthen your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.
Expression and Clarity
Work on clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Avoid using overly complex sentence structures or unclear expressions that might confuse the reader. Aim for clear and direct communication to effectively convey your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital devices
  • smartphone addiction
  • online interactions
  • developmental impact
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • parental supervision
  • proliferation of apps
  • engaging content
  • excessive use
  • sedentary lifestyle
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