Parents and teachers make many rules for children to increase good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children wood benefit from fever rules and greater freedom. To what extent do. You agree or disagree?
The issue of whether parents ought to implement a lot of regulations for their
kids
has prompted considerable debate. While many
Change preposition
Many
advocates
for Fix the agreement mistake
advocate
this
, because it enables the children to pick up good characters and keep
them away from societal Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
pit holes
, which I completely agree with. Others contend against it. Analyzing these facts will give a comprehensive overview of the subject matter.
Correct your spelling
pitholes
Firstly
, kids
who are properly guided grow up with good
set of behaviors Add an article
a good
such
as empathy and collaboration. For instance
, statistics from my recently completed capstone project shows
that children under Correct subject-verb agreement
show
direct
care of teachers are Add an article
the direct
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
in
Sudbury Change preposition
at
community college
. Clearly, Correct your spelling
Community College
this
could not be achieved if they were meant to obey fewer rules
. Therefore
, this
is one of the reasons set
down Wrong verb form
setting
rules
are
important for growing up Correct subject-verb agreement
is
kids
.
Secondly
, it also
keeps them away from dangers which could arise if they are allowed to roam freely. For example
, I would probably be a drug addict which could have led to my death long ago, if not for my father’s strictness and guidance. Obviously, this
is not what freedom would have saved me from. Thus
, one of the benefits of increased rules
.
In conclusion, the argument surrounding if
Correct word choice
whether
kids
should be under strict
watch of their parents and teachers Add an article
the strict
have
sparked a substantial dispute. Many champion Correct subject-verb agreement
has
this
due to
it ensures they are well-behaved and save
them from any possible dangers, which I completely agree with. Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
Whereas
others challenge this
. Examining these details proves that kids
are better off under the strict care laid down rules
and regulations.Submitted by Eby
on
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Task Achievement
To improve in the area of task response, make sure your essay fully addresses the topic by providing a balanced perspective, especially if you're asked to discuss to what extent you agree or disagree. It's important to explore arguments from both sides before stating your position clearly. Your essay tends to lean heavily on one side without adequately considering the opposite viewpoint, which can limit the completeness of your response. Try to include a paragraph that discusses potential benefits of greater freedom for children, even if your ultimate stance disagrees with this notion. This will show a more thorough engagement with the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on the logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next. Use a variety of transitional phrases to help link your ideas more effectively. Moreover, each main point should be well-supported with examples or evidence, but remember to link these examples clearly back to the main point they are meant to support. This will help ensure that your essay is not just a collection of ideas, but a coherent argument. Additionally, be careful with the repetition of phrases and overuse of certain words - try to vary your language for better readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?