Write about following topic: Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
While
a faction of people holds the notion that juveniles
should have sufficient
amount of free Add an article
a sufficient
time
for thier
development, others argue that they have to utilize their free Correct your spelling
their
time
for academic purposes. I totally agree with the former opinion as ample reasons are present to substantiate it. This
essay would
delve into my viewpoints with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, one of the obvious reasons to Wrong verb form
will
given
more free Wrong verb form
give
time
for children
is for their physical fitness. In other words
, in the contemporary lifestyle
several Add a comma
lifestyle,
juveniles
are in the clusters of online games. As a result
, their physical health is compramised
, and obesity is prevalent among young ones. The parents should facilitate Correct your spelling
compromised
phyically
active games and Correct your spelling
physically
plays
with their peers since itChange the verb form
play
a
possible solution to address Add a missing verb
is a
this
issue. For example
, the
Correct article usage
apply
children
who regularly playing
with their peers are observed less chance Change the form of the verb
play
to
Change preposition
of
gain
overweight. Verb problem
being
Besides
, the
social interaction Correct article usage
apply
time
is vital for the bright future of the children
, therefore
, parents should allocate more time
for social activities.
Furthermore
, early age is vital for juveniles
cognitive development. In detail, Change noun form
juveniles'
juvenile's
children
with inborn talent should be idnentified
and Correct your spelling
identified
provide
training in Wrong verb form
provided
early
Correct article usage
the early
stage
for their skill improvement. For Fix the agreement mistake
stages
exmple
, renowned musician and composer Mozart started playing musical Correct your spelling
example
instrument
at the age of five. Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
Children
should be given appropriate time
for fortifying inate
talents. Correct your spelling
innate
Similarly
, leisure time
is important for the mental health of the young students. In the contemporary busy world, juveniles
have academic stress more than ever before, therefore
, lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
is imperative for relaxation.
In conclusion, free time
for children
is important for physical and mental fitness. Juveniles
should provided suficient
Correct your spelling
sufficient
time
for their cognitive development. Ergo, I believe that more free time
should be provided for young people.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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task achievement
Ensure the essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. This means clearly stating your position, supporting it with well-developed reasons, and including a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. It might help to spend more time fine-tuning the introduction and conclusion to fully encapsulate your stance and reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Your ideas are relevant, but you can improve the flow by better organizing paragraphs and using a wider range of linking words. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
While your main points are supported, try to refine how you introduce and conclude them. Introductions to each paragraph should be clear and concise, leading into your specific points smoothly. Similarly, conclusions should effectively summarize the arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure every part of the question is answered. This includes making strong, clear arguments supported by specific examples. Don't forget to reflect on why these points are important in the context of the question. Detail is key.
