Write about following topic: Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #children #time #school #work

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While

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a faction of people holds the notion that

juveniles

Use synonyms

should have

sufficient

Add an article

a sufficient

show examples

amount of free

time

Use synonyms

for

thier

Correct your spelling

their

development, others argue that they have to utilize their free

time

Use synonyms

for academic purposes. I totally agree with the former opinion as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

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essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

delve into my viewpoints with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the obvious reasons to

given

Wrong verb form

give

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more free

time

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

is for their physical fitness.

In other words

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, in the contemporary

lifestyle

Add a comma

lifestyle,

show examples

several

juveniles

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are in the clusters of online games.

As a result

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, their physical health is

compramised

Correct your spelling

compromised

, and obesity is prevalent among young ones. The parents should facilitate

phyically

Correct your spelling

physically

active games and

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

with their peers since it

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

possible solution to address

this

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issue.

For example

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

who regularly

playing

Change the form of the verb

play

show examples

with their peers are observed less chance

Change preposition

show examples

gain

Verb problem

being

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overweight.

Besides

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social interaction

time

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is vital for the bright future of the

children

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therefore

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, parents should allocate more

time

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for social activities.

Furthermore

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, early age is vital for

Use synonyms

juveniles

Change noun form

juveniles'

juvenile's

show examples

cognitive development. In detail,

children

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with inborn talent should be

idnentified

Correct your spelling

identified

and

provide

Wrong verb form

provided

show examples

training in

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

stage

Fix the agreement mistake

stages

show examples

for their skill improvement. For

exmple

Correct your spelling

example

, renowned musician and composer Mozart started playing musical

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

at the age of five.

Children

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should be given appropriate

time

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for fortifying

inate

Correct your spelling

innate

talents.

Similarly

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, leisure

time

Use synonyms

is important for the mental health of the young students. In the contemporary busy world,

juveniles

Use synonyms

have academic stress more than ever before,

therefore

Linking Words

lesiure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Use synonyms

is imperative for relaxation. In conclusion, free

time

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for

children

Use synonyms

is important for physical and mental fitness.

Juveniles

Use synonyms

should provided

suficient

Correct your spelling

sufficient

time

Use synonyms

for their cognitive development. Ergo, I believe that more free

time

Use synonyms

should be provided for young people.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Fri Mar 15 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. This means clearly stating your position, supporting it with well-developed reasons, and including a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. It might help to spend more time fine-tuning the introduction and conclusion to fully encapsulate your stance and reasoning.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay. Your ideas are relevant, but you can improve the flow by better organizing paragraphs and using a wider range of linking words. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples.

coherence and cohesion

While your main points are supported, try to refine how you introduce and conclude them. Introductions to each paragraph should be clear and concise, leading into your specific points smoothly. Similarly, conclusions should effectively summarize the arguments without introducing new information.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure every part of the question is answered. This includes making strong, clear arguments supported by specific examples. Don't forget to reflect on why these points are important in the context of the question. Detail is key.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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