Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developing a
hobby
can make one’s life more enjoyable. Some people believe that
hobbies
need to be challenging to be interesting. Personally, I perceive that all types of
hobbies
can be fun not only the difficult ones, and I
therefore
disagree with the statement. On the one hand, enjoying an easy
hobby
can make happiness easy to
be gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
without paying effort or spending money on it.
For instance
, swimming is a sport which is relatively easy to learn and inexpensive to do which requires little equipment. I remember learning to swim happily at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another
hobby
that I find simple and fun is photography which anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating an expensive camera. In
this
way, taking photos is a simple and satisfying activity for everyone interested in it.
On the other hand
, difficult
hobbies
are likely to create a sense of fulfilment. If an activity is challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully.
For example
, playing piano is a
hobby
that requires a lot of effort to learn which is a both time-consuming and costly
hobby
to do. In
this
case, it took me six years to become content with
this
activity, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. As far as I am concerned, many
hobbies
give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance and get increasingly skilful because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater. In conclusion, simple
hobbies
can be fun and relaxing, but difficult
hobbies
can be equally pleasurable for several reasons.
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task achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully answers the question. You've made clear arguments for both sides, which is good. For improvement, try to weave in more complex ideas or nuanced arguments that show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, focus on transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Your essay flows well, but utilizing a wider variety of transitional phrases can help enhance readability and cohesion between ideas.
general
Consider exploring a more diverse range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your writing. This will not only make your essay more engaging to read but also demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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