International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country visited. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

As the significance of international trips gains recognition across various aspects of modern society, it undoubtedly exerts several positive influences on both
tourists
and the host country.
While
there are still drawbacks to international
travel
, I completely believe its benefits are more significant. On one hand, flocking numerous
tourists
to
travel
areas all at once can generate plenty of financial and societal issues
such
as
overall
rise in prices and inconvenience of lifestyle for travellers and locals.
This
is because the more people converge from all around the world to famous tourist regions, the more inflation in the
places
deteriorates, allowing host
countries
to seek more financial revenues.
This
phenomenon makes residents and travellers feel pressured on finances, struggling with purchasing daily necessities and budgeting
travel
expenses. If taking France as an example, a large crowd of people have concentrated in
this
area especially after the Covid outbreak, leading to a sudden surge in prices.
Consequently
, it has imposed a burden on sightseers and inhabitants as they have to prepare their
travel
expenses for a long time and spend a significant amount of money on only necessary products without any room for entertainment. That being said, international trips bring myriad benefits for
travel
countries
and
tourists
. In the view of those who venture into diverse regions, exploring new
countries
empowers them with chances to break their stereotypes and reshape their worldview.
This
is the reason why individuals can have numerous fascinating experiences of exotic cuisine and culture, and they get to see
places
they have not seen before and even lifestyles. During the journey, they can accept new perspectives that they have never thought of before, thereby broadening their horizons.
For instance
, some
tourists
visiting Korea who
initially
assume that Korea would adhere to traditional concepts influenced by Confucianism are often surprised after discovering towering skyscrapers in Seoul and prevalent kiosks found in restaurants by
showcasing
Wrong verb form
showcase
show examples
cutting-edge technologies.
Furthermore
, journeying to varied
places
has significantly influenced on
overall
ability improvement of
tourists
.
This
is true that most people have dwelled in their home
countries
for a long time,
however
, they can face new challenges in unfamiliar
places
during
travel
after escaping from the comfort that gives their home towns.
For example
, they can face problems
such
as losing their directions on the way to destinations. In response, they would seek effective methods to cope with these difficulties on their terms, whether by asking residents for directions or exploring companions who can assist them, thereby promoting their adaptability to unexpected situations and enhancing their problem-solving skills. In conclusion, it seems to me that exploring a variety of
countries
has beneficial upsides for both
travel
attractions and sightseers, overshading its disadvantages.
Submitted by uzookim on

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Task Achievement
Ensure the essay directly answers the question asked. Your essay didn't explicitly discuss the disadvantages of international travel in contrast to its advantages. A balanced argument or a clear stance would strengthen your task response.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but ensure all parts of the essay directly support your thesis. Avoid detours into generalized observations that don’t directly support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to maintain a logical flow throughout your essay. Use transition words to guide the reader from one idea to the next, improving cohesion between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, make sure that each body paragraph has one clear main idea, followed by specific examples. Incorporate varying sentence structures and detailed evidence to enrich your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchange
  • Exposure
  • Broadens horizons
  • Increases understanding
  • Promotes economic growth
  • Tourism
  • Educational opportunities
  • Personal development
  • Self-confidence
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
  • Disease transmission
  • Economic disparities
  • Cultural misunderstandings
  • Clashes
  • Security risks
  • Safety concerns
  • Balancing
  • Advantages
  • Disadvantages
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