IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #individuals #law #prison #form #punishment #alternatives #lawbreakers
While
 some individuals argue that criminals deserve to be settled in prison as a penalty, others believe there are effective methods to address these problems. Personally, I subscribe to the belief that we are able to take measures and fundamentally tackle the crime problem. On one side of the argument, since criminals break laws, they ought to face penalties,
such
 as the death penalty. If offenders continuously appear in society and communities, it would definitely impact the public order. When inhabitants feel insecure, they cannot work or live confidently. It may
also
 contribute to economic development. Only if criminals are in jail can individuals gain a secure environment and public order.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that aparting from jail, other measures can be adopted to tackle criminal issues. On the part of juvenile delinquency, those youths with lower level schooling should be given
behaviour
 and ethical schooling. Through professional education, it can let them be able to distinguish between correct and wrong
behaviour
. As for minor crimes, the government can arrange for them to engage in social service or other, cultivating their responsibility.
As a result
, if one day offenders return to society, they would understand that they have to be responsible for his or her
behaviour
. In conclusion,
although
 prisoners need to be punished, we can take some measures,
such
 as behavioural education, and social volunteering, to fundamentally address their criminal
behaviour
 rather than just settle them into jail.
Submitted by sherry0588 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the question. Introduce your opinion clearly and support it with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in clear paragraphs, and ensure a logical flow between them. Use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: