As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend? Is this a positive or negative development?
In modern society, there is a tendency
that
the public Correct word choice
for
live
alone or make small size of families. In Fix the infinitive
to live
this
essay, I will discuss why it can be considered as progress.
To begin
with, there are some obvious causes of the issue. Firstly
, the living cost today is higher than in the past. Due to
the global financial crisis, a number of people
have difficulties in living, meaning that people
make the same amount of income, while
they have fewer abilities to afford product prices. For example
, in Sydney Australia, the house price increased more than three times compared to 20 years ago. Which can lead people
to give their marriage up or make families with their parents. Also
, youngsters want to be independent from their parents. Young people
find it happier to live alone. This
is because young adults can guarantee their own time and space. It seems like no one would interfere with them.
Considering the reasons mentioned above, the trend towards living alone is obviously beneficial since they can enjoy their life. First of all, living individuals enables people
to have more spacious places in their homes. The public no longer shares their spaces with their families so that they can do their hobbies at home. For example
, in Korea, young individuals own two-bedroom apartments alone, and therefore
they can put physical equipment at home to exercise. Moreover
, citizens can relax more at their home. In other words
, when they stay with their parents or other people
, they might get stressed from others.
In conclusion, people
can be happier by living only themselves such
as having more space for hobbies and getting less stress from others.Submitted by sh960620 on
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Introduction Enhancement
Develop a clearer, more detailed introduction. Briefly outline the main causes and state whether the development is positive or negative.
Topic Sentence Clarity
Include a more explicit topic sentence in each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea.
Support Expansion
Expand your support for main points with more diverse examples and explanations.
Cohesion Improvement
Try to enhance the linkage between ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions and to strengthen the overall cohesion.
Balanced Discussion
To directly address the question, ensure to discuss both the positive and negative aspects if the question asks for them.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and precision in word choice to improve clarity.
Clear Stance
Provides a clear stance on the issue, identifying it as a positive development.
Example Use
Offers relevant examples to support points, enhancing the argument's validity.
Conclusion Attempt
Attempts to conclude with a summary of the main points and a reaffirmation of the personal stance.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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