Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there is an ongoing issue regarding the period when
children
learn a foreign
language
. Some people argue that learning another
language
when the
children
are young has adverse
affects
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effects
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on the
children
.
On the other hand
, some assert that learning a foreign
language
is good
to
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for
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kids. I believe the advantages of learning other
languages
outweigh the disadvantages. I will explain why.
First,
I believe learning a foreign
language
is helpful in looking for work in the future, as the earth is becoming globalized. If the
children
learn other
languages
when they are young, they can access
to
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apply
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the news of other countries easily, which will make them broaden their horizons.
Moreover
, there are some studies that the speed of learning is faster when they are young compared to adults.
Secondly
, I believe the
children
can learn the
languages
than the students in the secondary
school
. Some people argue that making the
children
learn a foreign
language
just can cause a bunch of
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
to
children
. On top of that, it can generate confusion in learning other
languages
, especially when they have different structures.
However
, I think learning another
language
when they are pupils could give them more stress and it is mainly because there are more academic subjects in secondary
school
than in primary
school
. In conclusion, the benefits of learning
languages
when we are young outweigh the disadvantages of it.
It
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This
show examples
is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
learn faster than
the
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apply
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teenagers. Aside from that,
the
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apply
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teenagers have a lot of subjects in their secondary
school
so they do not have enough time to learn a new
language
deeply.
According to
that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, I think it is better to learn other
languages
when they are young.
Submitted by heoeunsae on

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Task Achievement
To enhance the essay in terms of Task Achievement, aim to provide more thorough explanations and diverse examples to support your arguments. This will help to create a more comprehensive response that fully addresses all parts of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on structuring your essay more logically. This involves presenting ideas in a clear order, using paragraphs to separate distinct points, and employing linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the Supported Main Points criterion, ensure that each argument is backed by specific examples or evidence. Strive to include detailed examples from your own knowledge or experience to make your points more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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