Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has been seen recently that more and more

adults

Use synonyms

are walking away from doing physical activities. Now, the reason behind it could partially be that they are not being encouraged enough through sporting

events

Use synonyms

like the Olympics and World Cups,

however

Linking Words

, it could

also

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the reason that they want an economically secure life and

that is

Linking Words

why

adults

Use synonyms

are spending more time in getting jobs that pay huge salary,

therefore

Linking Words

, sacrificing physical workouts and healthy lifestyle to achieve it.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides and give an opinion in conclusion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, we see that

people

Use synonyms

idealize athletes and follow their advice as they are influenced by them.

For example

Linking Words

, it was seen that a famous football player named "Ronaldo" replaced cold drinks with water that

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

kept on his table during a press conference and told

people

Use synonyms

through his act to have water

instead

Linking Words

, the very next day the stock price of that brand suffered adversely

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

Thus

Linking Words

, they can

also

Linking Words

make

people

Use synonyms

do workouts and do more physical activities as

adults

Use synonyms

follow their saying.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, encouraging Olympics and sports activities will do no better if they are not doing better financially as the reality is

people

Use synonyms

want money more than a healthy lifestyle, so, they don't care if participants of Olympics and sports

events

Use synonyms

are suffering economically. I believe that the government should provide incentives and give rewards to the participants performing in

such

Linking Words

events

Use synonyms

For example

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, in India, government give jobs to those who win medals in games. So, it is important that

adults

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see the government appreciating athletes too

along with

Linking Words

encouragement. In conclusion, in my opinion, it is important that

along with

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these

events

Use synonyms

being advertised and encouraged, the participants should get incentives for their efforts so that it brings a positive impact on society and they will work hard like those athletes.

mannadarshpal13Fri Mar 15 2024

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task achievement

Aiguing on both sides of the topic is a great approach, yet make sure your opinion is distinct and strongly supported. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and reaffirm it in the conclusion for greater impact.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, work on the transition sentences between paragraphs. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument smoothly.

task achievement

Expanding on your examples with more details and analysis can make your argument stronger. Use these examples to directly support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading can significantly improve the quality of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some languages spoken by very few people are losing their importance and may become extinct. Is it a good or a bad development? What are the reasons for this?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.