There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •Describe the complaints that have been made. •Say why the reception area is important. •Suggest how the area could be improved.

#complaints #reception #area #visitors #company #manager #•describe #•say #•suggest

Dear Muhammad Shoaib, I am writing to let you know about an increasing number of complaints at the front desk.

While

I was

throughly

Correct your spelling

thoroughly

going through the complaints, I noticed that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of the issues are regarding the waiting time. Since you know that our

bank

Change noun form

bank's

show examples

new franchise has

overwhelming

Add an article

an overwhelming

show examples

response, there always seems a rush of visitors which challenges our customer services. Let me explain the situation in more detail, the reception is highly inevitable because it welcomes the general public not only to open new accounts but

also

to retain our existing clients to facilitate them as much as possible.

For instance

, assisting them in utilizing cash deposit, cheque clearance, account maintenance, and

value added

Add a hyphen

value-added

show examples

services.

Hence

, would you kindly hire one more

receptionalist

Correct your spelling

receptionist

? I believe, after increasing the workforce, our customers will

be entertain

Change the verb form

be entertained

be entertaining

show examples

at the earliest which

otherwise

is not possible.

For example

, I have seen a few other branches of our bank, facilitate customers having more than one employee at the front desk. Thank you for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Haris Khan

Submitted by Haris Khan on Fri Mar 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Maintain clarity and conciseness in your descriptions and recommendations. While your letter does a good job at outlining the issues and proposing solutions, further clarification on certain points and a more concise approach could enhance the overall effectiveness of your message.

Coherence Cohesion

Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure each subsequent sentence supports or elaborates on that topic. This will strengthen the logical flow and make your arguments more persuasive.

Task Achievement

To enhance your response, consider adding more specific examples or detailed explanations of how your suggestions will address the problems mentioned. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and analysis of the situation.

Coherence Cohesion

Use varied linking words and cohesive devices to improve the connection between your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your writing more fluid and easier to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this statement?

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?