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Band 7.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
In recent years,
due to
 the increased popularity of social media, popular
people
 tend to earn a lot.
People
 in necessary and important professions earn a lot less than popular sports players, which some
people
 think is immoral
while
 others agree that they deserve it. I would agree that it is unfair for professions that require hard work. One of the significant reasons why successful sportspeople earn more is
due to
 their popularity.
For example
, the most popular game in India is cricket. There are millions of
people
 watching
this
 game through various modes which in turn brings a significant income to the organization that conducts it so they tend to sponsor the players so that both can benefit. The other reason is that sports players represent their whole country by participating in competitions like the World Cup and the Olympics and bringing laurels to their countries which justifies their enormous earnings.
On the other hand
, Some professionals
such
 as doctors and healthcare workers put in so much effort and hard work. They undoubtedly sacrifice their own priorities for the benefit of the patient which is much more essential for social development and security which is the reason why it is unfair for them to receive comparatively lower income than a sports person.
In contrast
, if there are fewer professionals like doctors their country might face a deteriorating economy. In conclusion,
Although
 there a significant reasons like popularity and sponsorships which are responsible for the extortionate salary of the sportsperson. It is undeniable that it is unfair to other professionals like doctors who are more important to society and the
people
.
Submitted by m.keerthanah on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure, with coherent paragraphs each focusing on a specific point. Consider using more linking words and transition phrases to enhance flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly present both views and your opinion. Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your opinion more decisively. Try to avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
task achievement
Fully address the task by discussing both views comprehensively and providing specific examples to support each. Your personal opinion should be clear and well-supported with reasoned arguments. Consider expanding your argument with more nuanced examples and a deeper analysis of each viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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