You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day.. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved
Dear Sir ,
I am
Harvi
, Correct your spelling
Harvie
student
Correct article usage
a student
of
Change preposition
in
medical
department at your prestige college . I am writing Add an article
the medical
this
letter to draw your attention toward
the cafeteria which really Change preposition
to
need
amendments and renovation.
I love Change the verb form
needs
this
area because it provide
enormous food variety and plenty of space to sit where pupils can share their experiences and discuss difficulties Change the verb form
provides
about
their studies. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, the lunch is super nutritious and healthy also
price
is very reasonable Add an article
the price
thus
, it does put a burden on the students . Whenever,
I get Remove the comma
apply
chance
I prefer to visit Correct article usage
a chance
cafe
because of the calm and unique ambience that gives me Correct article usage
a cafe
sense
of relaxation .
Add an article
a sense
However
, this
place is getting older and it demand
Change the verb form
demands
for
renovation which Remove the preposition
apply
include
Change the verb form
includes
replacement
of the doors and colourful paint on the wall in order to look magnificent. I have some friends from Correct article usage
the replacement
architecture
department Correct article usage
the architecture
they
are really to do voluntary work Correct pronoun usage
who
this
way , they will be able to show their talent and skills.
I hope you will consider my opinion and I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
RamSubmitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Be consistent with the name you sign off with - if you introduce yourself as Harvi, ensure to use the same name in the closing to maintain consistency and avoid confusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider using more connectors or transitional phrases to link sentences and ideas smoothly. This enhances the flow of your letter and makes your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-structured, dedicating each one to a specific topic: what you like about the cafeteria, what is wrong with it, and how it could be improved. You have done well here, but refining your points could make your ideas even clearer.
Task Achievement
Your letter effectively addresses the task's requirements by covering all the points asked for: your appreciation for the cafeteria, the issues it faces, and suggestions for improvement. To enhance task achievement, include more specific examples or details to support your statements.
Task Achievement
To ensure a suitable writing tone, consider avoiding casual language or overly informal expressions. Aim for a respectful, formal tone throughout, suitable for addressing magazine editors or college officials.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.