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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issues?

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Nowadays, a significant number of countries are worried about
air
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pollution
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 which is still a pressing issue throughout the world.
While
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 the burning of fossil
fuels
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such
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 as gas and oil and
chemicals
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 used for a wide range of purposes are the key causes behind
this
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 issue, the potential effects involve
acid
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rain
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 and
climate
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 change.
To begin
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 with, the consumption of fossil
fuels
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 is a threat to the world because carbon dioxide is emitted from the burning of fossil
fuels
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.
Besides
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, road traffic emissions from petrol or diesel engines increase carbon monoxide and nitrogen dioxides which are extremely harmful to the
air
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.
Moreover
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,
chemicals
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 used in agricultural practices, including pesticides and insecticides, are released into the
air
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.
Additionally
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, other
chemicals
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such
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 as paints and cleaning products cause indoor
air
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pollution
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. With regard to the possible effects of
air
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pollution
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, it is evident that
acid
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rain
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 and
climate
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 change stand the first places.
Firstly
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,
acid
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rain
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 is strongly connected with
air
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pollution
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 because when some
air
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 pollutants,
such
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 as sulfur dioxide, are released into the
air
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, they react with oxygen in the atmosphere and form acidic
chemicals
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, which lead to
acid
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rain
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.
Acid
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rain
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 can harm forests, lakes, rivers, and other ecosystems by damaging vegetation, killing aquatic life, and disrupting the chemistry of soil.
Furthermore
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,
air
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pollution
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 can have detrimental effects on the patterns of weather because it can alter atmospheric dynamics, leading to extensive changes in precipitation, temperature, and wind patterns. In turn, it will affect the nature of the
climate
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 in many regions. In conclusion, the use of fossil
fuels
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 and chemical materials in many fields can lead to
air
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pollution
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 which can have inevitable impacts on the world by causing
acid
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rain
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 and
climate
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, try to develop your ideas more fully and include more detailed, specific examples that directly support your points. This will help provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion, indicated by a clear logical structure and the presence of both an introduction and a conclusion. To further enhance these aspects, work on improving the flow between ideas and paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, ensure each main point is developed fully within its own paragraph, contributing to overall cohesion.
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