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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progres #people #progress #country
Most governments believe that economic
development
 is the
country
’s highest goal,
while
 others believe that
development
 of all
types
 is equally important for the
country
. In my opinion, consider that it is essential for the governments to develop their economy because it can bring a lot of benefits to the
country
. On the one hand,
according to
 some, having a good economy for any
country
 is a great advantage, and I agree. When the
country
 has a good economy,
this
 will give the opportunity for the government to implement more projects that will benefit the citizens.
In other words
, the more money the
country
 has, the better facilities and services the citizens will get. If,
for example
, there is a huge
income
 for the
country
, part of it could be invested in the education sector.
This
 will not only benefit the students but
also
 will help the
country
 to have well-educated
people
 who will increase their
income
 even
further
 with their initiatives and expertise.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that
although
 economic
growth
 is important, it is not more important than other
types
 of
growth
. Economic
development
 will be difficult if other
types
 of progress are neglected.
For instance
, without taking care of sectors,
such
 as education, the manpower and ideas for economic
growth
 will not be accessible as the knowledge on how to develop the
country
's
income
 will be difficult to plan without proper strategies from expert and well-educated
people
.
Thus
, all
types
 of progress will
then
 be affected equally as well.
To sum up
, even though some
people
 believe that all
types
 of progress are equally important, I believe the first step to proper
growth
 is to have the
income
 to invest in the
country
's
development
, which means economic
growth
 is very important for
development
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Achievement
To enhance the score in Task Achievement, ensure that your argument incorporates a wider range of specific examples that directly support your main points. Try researching real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your viewpoint. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay has a good logical structure, you could improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to guide your reader more clearly through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To perfect your introduction and conclusion, make sure that your thesis statement is explicitly stated and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new information. Refining these aspects will make your essay's purpose and stance clearer from the beginning to the end.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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