Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.
The majority of university students opt for learning various
fields
as well as
their major while
others believe paying attention solely to their qualification is more crucial. This
essay will discuss both views and suggest my opinion in favour of the latter.
On the one hand, focusing and doing one's utmost to qualify is considerable as it leads to profound education. To be specific, the more students concentrate on their fields
, the more they are exposed to higher-quality knowledge and information. For example
, a student who spends 10,000 hours reading a biology thesis is likely to understand the lecture and the textbooks easily compared to others who only studied for 1000 hours and learned other subjects. Thus
, concentrating on their subject only and studying hard for their qualification often result in excelling and obtaining a deep knowledge in their fields
.
On the other hand
, seeking various subjects in addition
to their department enables people to experience various studies and to broaden their insight. Furthermore
, studying a wide range of fields
leads to flexible perspectives. For instance
, people who learn Korean literature, social science, and biology will effectively comprehend social, environmental, and gender disparity issues as they have widened their knowledge and understanding. Hence
, learning many subjects helps individuals to cultivate multi-abilities and deter them from having narrow perspectives.
However
, in my view, I believe that doing one's best and endeavouring to a qualification is needed since I highly benefit from obtaining my master's degree. I was able to learn an in-depth section of law, which is my major. Also
, I found a job with a high salary and work-life balance. It was possible because I was more outstanding than other applicants as I studied further
and harder. In conclusion, although
some individuals think that studying different departments is favourable, I stress that solely focusing on qualifying is crucial.Submitted by aahhyu111 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement, even though your current use is already effective.
task achievement
Making direct references to how each argument supports your position could even further strengthen your essay's persuasive power.
task achievement
You've shown a nuanced understanding of both perspectives, carefully analyzing the benefits of concentrating on a major subject versus exploring a variety of fields.
coherence cohesion
Your use of clear, structured paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific viewpoint with relevant examples, greatly contributes to the essay's overall clarity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?