Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you argee or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
With the advent of computers these days, they have become a part of a routine.
This
evolution has many more negative consequences for children
than positive ones. Daily use
of a computer
screen is very harmful to children
's eyes and vision, in addition
, the use
of this
wonderful invention in science negatively affects the physical and psychological development of children
.
Although
this
development helps children
understand more complex things more easily, this
benefit also
has negative consequences, as the device screen emits harmful ultraviolet rays that lead to vision loss . For example
, poor eyesight in children
is more common than in the 20th century because computers were not as common at that time. Unfortunately, in schools, during computer
science lessons , children
are given tasks on the computer
, not only in this
lesson ,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
in other lessons, which is the main reason for decreased vision in children
. Thus
, increasing children
's screen time had a significantly greater negative impact than would otherwise
have been the case.
Moreover
, children
's use
of computers is also
a cause of obesity later in life. A survey conducted by WRL shows that people born in the computer
age suffer from obesity more than people before it. This
is due to
a sedentary lifestyle, which children
begin to get used to; they work hard on the laptop to complete school assignments rather than writing them themselves. Hence
, increased use
of computer
in everything.
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
To conclude
, the rapid adaptation of screens in children
's lives has affected the physical advancement of children
which causes health problems like obesity at a later age. Thus
, the demerits of using a computer
daily for children
outweigh the merits of it. Schools should give exercises to children
to write themselves, rather than simply assigning them to do it on the computer
.Submitted by Shaxnoza on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You've constructed a well-organized essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate the relationships between ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, including a clear position throughout. To further improve, focus on developing your arguments more fully. Include more detailed examples and data where possible to support your points.
task achievement
While you've included examples to support your arguments, try to use more specific and detailed examples to further strengthen your case and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure that your essay directly addresses the question posed, ensuring that all parts of the task are covered. This includes arguing both sides if the question asks for it, even if you are taking a clear position.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?