IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungr

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #hungr
Despite certain developments in agriculture, people still suffer from hunger in some parts of the world. There are several reasons for
this
 issue, which
this
 essay will clarify and cover several ways to solve.
First,
poverty, many cannot afford to buy products from the market or any other place of sale. The second is climate change, which is often met in many regions,
such
 as extreme weather
such
 as droughts or floods,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
show examples
 devastate crops and livestock, leading to
food
 shortages. Even ongoing conflicts and wars are depriving communities of
food
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the reason for
this
 is that they leave the area where they live or move to other places.
Finally
,
food
 waste can be seen in several different areas
as a result
 of which it is not possible to consume and
food
 shortages occur which result in people starving.
Although
 these situations are experienced, there are many key solutions that help prevent hunger. Investment in Smallholder
Farmers
,
supporting
Correct word choice
and supporting
show examples
 small-scale
farmers
 with access to better seeds, tools, training in sustainable practices, and market access can increase their productivity and income.
Then
, developing rural infrastructure
such
 as roads, storage facilities, and irrigation systems can help
farmers
 get their produce to markets more efficiently and reduce
food
 waste. Mainly, education and training, all of which can be provided in nutrition can empower communities to produce more local
food
 and lead to richer harvests.
In addition
 to, promoting Gender Equality, empowering women
farmers
 with equal access to resources and decision-making power can improve household
food
 security and nutrition outcomes. In the end, to make peace or not to waste
food
according to
 the way
that is
 simply deduced from the causes.
To conclude
,
this
 famine is man-made and results in the death of so many people that at least some effort should be made to prevent it from happening.
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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and outlines the main reasons and solutions for hunger. However, better transitions between paragraphs and more cohesive links would improve logical flow.
task achievement
Some main points are supported with examples, but more specific data or case studies would strengthen the arguments. Try including statistics or real-world instances.
overall
Work on sentence structure and clarity of ideas; some sentences are fragmented or incomplete and could obscure the message.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic comprehensively and provides both causes and solutions, showing a good understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion help frame the essay well, guiding the reader through the arguments presented.

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