IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungr

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #hungr
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Despite certain developments in agriculture, people still suffer from hunger in some parts of the world. There are several reasons for
this
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 issue, which
this
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 essay will clarify and cover several ways to solve.
First,
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poverty, many cannot afford to buy products from the market or any other place of sale. The second is climate change, which is often met in many regions,
such
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 as extreme weather
such
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 as droughts or floods,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
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 devastate crops and livestock, leading to
food
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 shortages. Even ongoing conflicts and wars are depriving communities of
food
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that
Correct word choice
and
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 the reason for
this
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 is that they leave the area where they live or move to other places.
Finally
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,
food
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 waste can be seen in several different areas
as a result
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 of which it is not possible to consume and
food
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 shortages occur which result in people starving.
Although
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 these situations are experienced, there are many key solutions that help prevent hunger. Investment in Smallholder
Farmers
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,
supporting
Correct word choice
and supporting
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 small-scale
farmers
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 with access to better seeds, tools, training in sustainable practices, and market access can increase their productivity and income.
Then
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, developing rural infrastructure
such
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 as roads, storage facilities, and irrigation systems can help
farmers
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 get their produce to markets more efficiently and reduce
food
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 waste. Mainly, education and training, all of which can be provided in nutrition can empower communities to produce more local
food
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 and lead to richer harvests.
In addition
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 to, promoting Gender Equality, empowering women
farmers
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 with equal access to resources and decision-making power can improve household
food
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 security and nutrition outcomes. In the end, to make peace or not to waste
food
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according to
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 the way
that is
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 simply deduced from the causes.
To conclude
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,
this
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 famine is man-made and results in the death of so many people that at least some effort should be made to prevent it from happening.
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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and outlines the main reasons and solutions for hunger. However, better transitions between paragraphs and more cohesive links would improve logical flow.
task achievement
Some main points are supported with examples, but more specific data or case studies would strengthen the arguments. Try including statistics or real-world instances.
overall
Work on sentence structure and clarity of ideas; some sentences are fragmented or incomplete and could obscure the message.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic comprehensively and provides both causes and solutions, showing a good understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion help frame the essay well, guiding the reader through the arguments presented.
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