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Writing Samples
Band 8

The tables show the populations of eight capital and eight provincial cities in 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables show the populations of eight capital and eight provincial cities in 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart provides information about the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of people in rural and urban areas in the year 1999. It is clear from the graph that , the largest
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of different nationalities lived in the city
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 only a small fraction of people lived in the countryside.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 what is shown,
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, 99% of Chinese citizens were living in urban areas in the year 1999, which was the highest proportion among other nationalities. It was followed by New Zealanders, British, and Dutch with 90%, 89%, and 83%, respectively. Meanwhile, only 80% of Australians preferred city life, the lowest percentage in all.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we could say that,the difference between people living in the countryside was evidently low. The
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of Australians that were living in the urban area was 20%, the highest
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in a regional area. With regards to Dutch, British, and New Zealanders, it only ranged from 10 to 17%.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the remaining 1% of Chinese
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were

It seems that the verb was does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 situated in rural areas.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • capital cities
  • provincial cities
  • figure
  • highest
  • lowest
  • disparity
  • regional distribution
  • trends
  • patterns
  • implications
  • population distribution
  • summarize
  • analyze
  • compare
  • conclude
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