International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the countries that they visit. Do the advantages of international travel outweigh the disadvantages?
It is common nowadays that international tourism brings various benefits to either the countries or travellers. The writer,
however
, advocates that the benefits of enhancing the national economy Linking Words
along with
gaining foreign cultures totally outweigh the disadvantages of environmental concern.
When it comes to the host country which organizes the travel systems, there is no doubt that they would earn a substantial amount of money. Linking Words
That is
to say, the aim of foreigners is to join in numerous activities held by that nation so they have to spend money on those celebrations to participate . Linking Words
As a consequence
, the more money they spend on Linking Words
doing
various activities, the more chance the country has to improve its recreational infrastructure, Unnecessary verb
apply
thus
attracting more tourists. Linking Words
This
is true in Vietnam where tourism is more likely to replace other industrial fields as their sufficient income brings about.
Another point that should be taken into consideration is to know more about others’ Linking Words
culture
. To illustrate Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
further
, People often exhibit curiosity about various aspects of life as part of human natureLinking Words
..
In order to satisfy their demand, they have a tendency to travel abroad where the lifestyles or culture are visibly distinguished from their own ones. Replace the punctuation
.
...
Consequently
, they are able to challenge themselves in a strange location and gain memorable experiences during the trip. Linking Words
This
would enrich their cultural understanding, leading to the fact that they will become a cultured individual.
Some sceptics, Linking Words
however
, contend that the environment will be at significant risk should a large Linking Words
amount
of tourists visit one specific place. To be more specific, travellers usually throw rubbish, which is non-degradable as plastic, everywhere when they pay a visit . Change the quantifier
number
This
would increase the possibility of soil pollution as they are hard to degrade and harmful to the land. Linking Words
This
point may be credible, but authorities of those countries have implemented heavy fines for those who have an action of disposing of waste illegally the tourist sites. Linking Words
This
policy would act as a deterrence towards rubbish and guarding the beauty of one nation.
Linking Words
To conclude
, the disadvantage of causing concern for the environment is outweighed by boosting national finance and widening the knowledge of one individual. Linking Words
Hence
, the essay would have shown that international tourism will bring a prevalence of benefits and will become an imperative field in the foreseeable future.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the topic well and covers both advantages and disadvantages. However, some points could be elaborated further, and clearer examples could be provided. Consider expanding on the specific benefits to the national economy and cultural exchange with more precise details.
coherence cohesion
While the essay demonstrates good logical structure, there are occasional issues with sentence clarity and connection between ideas. Ensuring more fluid transitions between points and tightening the narrative may improve coherence. Additionally, careful attention to grammatical construction would enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a neat framework for the essay.
task achievement
Your points are generally supported with relevant details, enhancing the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?