IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#troubles #world #money #space #exploration #waste
There is no denying the fact that spending
money
 to solve all trouble things in the world is better than investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
space
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the
government
 should
be supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 their
country
 rather than
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
space
 exploration to enhance their economic
system
,there is
also
 an argument that
oppses
Correct your spelling
opposes
 it.In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that the
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should improve their
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 rather than
exploration
Replace the word
explore
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.
To begin
 with,the
government
 should pay more attention to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
,which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 the
government
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
be invested
Wrong verb form
invest
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more
money
 in the education
system
 and health sector.
In other words
,
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 new
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 can enhance
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
 for
people
 and make the citizens more
comfotable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
.
In addition
,the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
conutries
Correct your spelling
countries
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
money
 to fix
infrastructer
Correct article usage
the infrastructer
show examples
 in order to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
For example
,
according to
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
study
Add a comma
study,
show examples
 japan has become the first
country
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 education
system
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world. Another point to consider,all countries have issues so it would be better
solving
Change the verb form
to solve
show examples
 their
problame
Correct your spelling
problem
problems
through listen
Change preposition
by listening
show examples
what
Change preposition
to what
show examples
 the flok
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
creating new
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
fix
Wrong verb form
fixing
show examples
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 to reduce congestion
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hours.It is possible to say that most sophisticated
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 have more prioritize
to boost
Change preposition
on boosting
show examples
 transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 to reduce
accedients
Correct your spelling
accidents
.
Moreover
,
Although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 have
claim
Change the verb form
claimed
show examples
 there is no revenue when the
government
wast
Wrong verb form
wastes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.
For instance
,The USA waste more than 2
bilion dolar
Correct your spelling
billion dollars
 with no result. In conclusion,despite
people
 having different views.I believe that spending
money
 on the
country
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 than investing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 exploration the
space
Change preposition
of space
show examples
.
Submitted by ahmad.a07 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide your essay's direction. It should state your position regarding the prompt clearly.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by explaining how they support your argument. Specific, detailed examples strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should have a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This makes your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling errors. Also, consider varying your sentence structure to improve readability and maintain the reader’s interest.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • terrestrial issues
  • alleviate suffering
  • living standards
  • reallocate
  • long-term benefits
  • urgent social issues
  • practical applications
  • environmental monitoring
  • telecommunications
  • financial burden
  • public and private partnerships
  • social programs
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