The number of overweight children in the developed countries is increasing exponentially . What do you think are its causes, also suggest measures.

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The
number
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of overweight
children
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witnessed a significant rise in the developed countries. In
this
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essay, I will examine the factors that contribute towards overweight
children
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and propose some solutions to
this
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issue. There are a few sources that contribute to the increasing
number
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of overweight
children
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.
Firstly
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, the main cause why is
this
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happening is because the average level of the economy pushes parents to give
food
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cheap to their
children
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. Much
food
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that is
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relatively cheap usually does not have the adequate nutrition that
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the humans
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humans
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human
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body needs but rather has a high level of glucose.
As a result
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of consuming a lot of sugar,
children
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will be more fat. To illustrate
this
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, noodles, which are one of the favourite foods for both
children
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and parents since it is really affordable and
have
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has
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a delicious taste, probably play a crucial role in why
children
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get overweight.
Furthermore
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, aside from
this
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, a sedentary lifestyle
also
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brings an increasing
number
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of overweight
children
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. Nowadays, aligned with the advancement of technology, many
children
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are not active physically
like
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and like
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to exercise.
For instance
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, when they are finished eating, their next activity is to continue the games they play with their friends,
thus
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making the
food
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not well processed and their body system turns the calories into a high level of glucose. A few ways can be taken to help reduce the
number
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of overweight
children
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.
To begin
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with, the fundamental way to prevent overweight
children
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case getting worse is to raise their and their parents' awareness about healthy lifestyles and educate them that being overweight will lead to obesity. Some people may not understand that obesity is one of the serious health problems that can cause death. The government and the rest of society have to put their best effort
to hold
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into holding
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a campaign
rising
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raising
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this
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issue.
Thus
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, we wish people will become more aware and picky to choose their
food
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.
Moreover
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, there is something that the government can do to solve the rising
number
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of overweight
children
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which is to create a regulation relating to health security.
For example
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, the government have to come out with a huge budget to hold an early screening that captures
children
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who have a higher possibility of getting overweight, and
then
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give them a facility to get medical treatment. In conclusion, being overweight is mainly caused by
a high levels
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high levels
a high level
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of glucose in
food
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that
children
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consume
as well as
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the sedentary lifestyle that they have.
This
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essay suggested that the solutions to
this
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problem are twofold: to raise awareness about a healthy lifestyle and to create a health support regulation.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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structure
Ensure introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay structure. The conclusion should succinctly summarize main points and restate your viewpoint.
paragraph development
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of the argument.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs effectively. This includes contrast (however, although), addition (furthermore, moreover), and cause-effect (therefore, as a result).
task completion
Address all parts of the task. Ensure your essay discusses the causes of the issue as well as potential solutions.
elaboration
Provide more specific, varied examples to support your points. Examples should be clearly linked to the point being made and relevant to the overall argument.
style and tone
Work on developing a more formal and academic tone, especially by avoiding contractions (isn't, doesn't) and using appropriate vocabulary.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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