You are staying in an alien country. You have recently received a letter from your wife in which she has complained of your son's activities. Write a letter to your son to counsel him. In your letter, write: what you came to know about his behavior why you are upset about such activities what kind of behavior you are expecting from him

#country #wife #son #activities #counsel #behavior

Dear Son, I hope

this

letter finds you in a radiant of health and great spirits. I am writing

this

letter because I got your complaint from your

mother

, as a parent

this

is a matter of concern for us. Your

mother

told me that your screen time has increased

hence

this

will

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

detrimental effects on your studies. I feel vulnerable about your health because the lack of physical activities has negative impacts on your intellectual memory.

Moreover

, your

mother

is not able to tolerate your aggressive behaviour. I want you to be a serene and generous human being and take care of your

mother

in my absence.

Also

, pay attention to your classes and involve yourself in different physical activities like cricket and running which will help you to shape your character and expand your horizons . I hope you will consider my advice and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Rajesh

Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your Task Response score, ensure your letter addresses all aspects of the prompt more comprehensively. Expand on each point by providing specific examples or deeper insights into the effects of your son's behavior and why certain behaviors are expected from him.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your letter has a logical structure, there can be improvements in linking ideas more smoothly. Consider using a wider range of linking devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition to, therefore) to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

For Greeting and Closing, maintain a consistent level of formality throughout your letter. The closing 'Yours truly' is slightly less formal than the rest of the letter. Consider matching it with the tone set in the greeting and the main body of the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

In terms of single idea per paragraph, aim to clearly separate your ideas into paragraphs. Though you have done this fairly well, there are opportunities to refine this by potentially combining related ideas or ensuring each paragraph distinctly addresses a separate concept.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many places,new homes are needed but the only space available for them is countryside.some people believe it is more important to protect the country side and not build new homes there.what is your opinion about this?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.