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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Task 2 : What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

#biodiversity
Nowadays, no one can be negative
the
Change preposition
about the
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 importance of biodiversity, in recent years, it
is
Wrong verb form
has become
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 dangerous because of
humans
Change the noun form
human
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 destruction. In my opinion, we need to
have
Verb problem
take
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 actions coming from the side of government and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to protect the
world is
Correct your spelling
world's
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 plants and animals.
First,
the government is the people with the most power.
Therefore
, they will be able to set strict regulations on protecting biodiversity. They can build nature reserves or national parks to ensure the survival of biological mats.
This
 will help improve their survival and avoid their demise.
Besides
, local authorities can
also
 encourage people to participate in conservation and propagate volunteer work.
In addition
, we need to strictly prohibit deforestation and hunting of rare animals. These methods will have some small help in protecting an increasingly depleted ecosystem.
Next,
it is we ourselves who need to be conscious of protecting the ecosystem, knowing how to raise our awareness of their importance to our lives. Let's act now to prepare for a good future, act to protect them,
act
Correct word choice
and act
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 to correct the mistakes we have made. Sooner or later we will receive the consequences that we have caused. Not only that
,
Add the word(s)
, but
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we ourselves can
also
 propagate joint conservation and prevention campaigns to have a better ecosystem.
This
 is a common property, not just any individual's, so let's join hands to build a brighter and happier future.
Finally
, all the above protection, conservation and propaganda are practical actions. Those are the things that will help us reverse the process of vegetation destruction. For a new world, our above actions are well worth the cost.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. This will help lay a foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific idea or argument. This structure aids in clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'Consequently' can help with flow and clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Detailed examples make your points more convincing and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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