Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days the use of traditional
medicines
is increasing among people with health conditions rather than getting treatment from their physicians. While
traditional medicines
can be effective, they do not have standardized dosage which is why I believe that it is a negative development, whereas
physicians can give more effective medications that are scientifically proven.
Although
traditional medicines
can cure some diseases, they can also
have side effects because they do not have a fixed dose. Its dosage relies on the symptoms of the patient. If the patient's symptoms are exacerbating, they usually increase the dose because they believe that it will be more effective. However
, this
can have a bad effect on the patient. For instance
, patients
with kidney problems cannot take high amounts of herbal medications because it can lead to the accumulation of potassium in their body which can cause heart attack. Thus
, these drugs are not the optimal approach to dealing with health conditions.
On the other hand
, doctors give patients
drugs that have been scientifically tested to cure illnesses. They are tested on real patients
with specific symptoms and they were monitored all throughout the course of treatment. They can give more precise treatment, and as a result
, patients
will be able to recover faster. For instance
, tuberculosis cannot be treated by taking herbs such
as lagundi, it needs a combination of antibiotics in order to treat the infection.
In conclusion, some people seek alternative medications in order to get a cure instead
of their physician. However
, I believe that this
is a negative development because they do not have standard doses while
doctors can give medicines
that have been proven to be effective.Submitted by yoko.onerom on
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task response
Ensure a clear response to the question, discussing both positive and negative aspects if the prompt suggests. Your essay leaned heavily towards one view without much exploration of potential benefits of alternative medicine.
task response
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas by exploring both sides of the argument more evenly. This will enhance the depth of your analysis and make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned examples like kidney problems and tuberculosis, expanding on more diverse situations or including statistical evidence would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your essay, which you did well. To further improve, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, with cohesive devices to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that succinctly present and wrap up your main points, ensuring they are clear and directly address the prompt. Your conclusion did this effectively; ensure the introduction does the same.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your main points with clear reasons, examples, or explanations in each body paragraph. You did this to some extent, but there's room to elaborate further, especially on the potential merits of alternative treatments.