The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It is argued that nowadays the safety rates throughout the world have witnessed a significant increase over the century, and there is already no need to invest a significant amount of funds in armed forces.
While
advancements in technology have contributed to a more peaceful environment compared with the past, I totally do not agree with that statement because of persistent global conflicts
and potential urban crime
.
To begin
with, there are still countless conflicts
in a lot of countries. Despite advancements in diplomacy and international cooperation, numerous conflicts
around the world demonstrate that peace is not common in all regions. Civil wars, regional conflicts
, terrorism, and potential wars among countries are a few examples to illustrate that the earth has not been a calm and peaceful environment yet.
Furthermore
, increasing urban crime
rates are a threat to most countries, as the course of urbanization has led to this
pressing issue. Due to
a dearth of facilities, increased poverty and unemployment rates have made people commit burglary, murder, theft, assault, and other types of crime
. If the government stops spending large amounts of money on their armed forces, I believe that it can result in the death of numerous people.
On the other hand
, some say that the government’s overreliance on military power can hinder diplomatic efforts. They think that governments can prioritize diplomatic solutions to battle and foster mutual understanding. I partially agree with this
view. It is true that war is not the only gateway to conflicts
, however
only trusting diplomatic negotiations and cutting expenditure on the military can result in the disappearance of a country.
In conclusion, I believe that the world is still not a safe place for most people, and governments should not cut spending funds on their military due to
potential worldwide clashes and urban crime
.Submitted by writingbhos on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure that guides the reader through your argument. This could include using clear paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include an introduction that outlines your main argument and a conclusion that summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific, relevant examples. Providing concrete examples makes your argument stronger and more convincing to the reader.
task achievement
To meet the task's requirements fully, ensure your essay comprehensively responds to every aspect of the question. This includes adequately addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Aim to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your argument is easy to follow, clarifying how each point supports your overall stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.