IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

many people prefer eating convineient food and food from restaurants. Advantaged and disadvantages

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In today's world, more and more
people
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 prefer eating out or eating ready-made
meals
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 bought in the store.
This
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 is
due to
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 the changing rhythm of life, increased employment and the development of the catering industry.
However
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,
this
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 approach has both pros and cons. I believe that eating out and eating prepared
foods
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 is a convenient and practical option, especially for busy
people
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. In the modern rhythm of life, many
people
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 simply don't have
time
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 to cook, and
restaurants
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 or
convenience
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foods
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 become a great solution.
However
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, it is important to approach it wisely in order to stay healthy and not spend too much money. Among the advantages are
convenience
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 and
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time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
. In a restaurant or cafe, food is served quickly, and buying ready-made products eliminates the need to spend
time
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 on preparation.
This
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 is especially important for busy
people
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, students and office workers.
For example
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, a person who works from morning to evening is unlikely to be able to cook full
meals
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 every day. In
such
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 cases,
restaurants
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, cafes or even frozen
convenience
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foods
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 become a great solution.
In addition
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,
restaurants
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 offer a variety of dishes that are difficult to prepare at home.
For example
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, sushi, steaks or elaborate desserts require special skills and ingredients. Visiting
restaurants
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 allows you to try new
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
 and enjoy a gastronomic experience.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 a meal has disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is more expensive than home cooking. Regular visits to
restaurants
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 or buying ready-made food can hit the budget hard.
Secondly
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, restaurant
meals
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 and frozen
foods
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 often contain more salt, sugar and harmful additives, which can have a negative impact on health.
For example
Linking Words
, frequent consumption of fast food can lead to obesity and cardiovascular problems. Despite the possible disadvantages, eating out is the best option for modern
people
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. It allows you to save
time
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, try a variety of dishes and not waste energy on cooking. With a reasonable approach, you can choose healthy and high-quality dishes, combining
convenience
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 with health care.
Therefore
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, in the conditions of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 rhythm of life,
restaurants
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 and ready
meals
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 become a great solution.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, you could enhance your task response by providing a more balanced view. Include counterarguments or more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow between paragraphs for better coherence. Using linking words or phrases may help in connecting your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, more specific examples could enhance your argumentation. For instance, mention specific dishes from restaurants or brands for convenient meals that illustrate your argument.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion. It's easy to follow your main argument regarding convenience and the modern lifestyle.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the busy person's scenario and specific food types, adds depth to your argument and helps illustrate your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You maintain a formal tone throughout the essay, which is appropriate for academic writing. Your language is mostly accurate and understandable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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