It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed to be essential for
people
to venture outside the boundaries at the workplace as well as
in their daily lives. This
essay will argue that despite the fact that maintaining the status quo could save people
from certain dangers, it is far more advantageous for human beings to go out and take risks
because it is a necessary step to any success.
Negatively, venturing into the unknown may expose individuals to unwanted threats. Things like extreme sports such
as jumping and cave diving or hiking in the wilderness of Antarctica which need meticulous planning and preparation are not the games for ordinary people
. For instance
, every year there are serious injuries and fatalities reported when inexperienced mountain climbers try to make their way to the summit of Everest. However
, while
such
incidents may hinder human bravery at first,
I believe that daring actions are essential to achieve greater success.
A major benefit of taking risks
is that it allows human beings to step out of the playground of mediocrity and push the boundaries of possibilities. This
is to say that risk-takers usually view challenges as learning opportunities rather than a peril to stay away from and despite initial fear and uncertainties, it is quite rewarding to see their dedication bear fruit at the end
. In fact, no historical figure has ever made a difference by playing it safe and being mediocre but they chose to take calculated risks
. Take the founder of Ford as an example, he would have never invented the automobile if he had listened to the naysayers and refused to improve the engine from time to time until it became the renowned Ford cars we see today. Therefore
, I am of the opinion that without trying new things, no greatness is accomplished.
In conclusion, although
ventures in personal and professional life can be dangerous to some extent, people
should consider taking risks
as a requisite for success. For all the reasons above, the benefits of having an adventurous mind outweigh its drawbacks.Submitted by nha7032463 on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement is present in your introduction to guide the reader on your stance regarding the essay question. This will also help in linking your arguments back to the main question effectively.
task achievement
Expand upon the examples provided by incorporating more specific details or outcomes related to the risks discussed. This will strengthen your arguments and provide clearer insights into how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence, further refinement in this area will improve readability and cohesion.
task achievement
While supporting your main points with examples is good, consider balancing your argument by offering counterpoints or acknowledging potential drawbacks succinctly before refuting them or arguing in favor of the benefits. This creates a more nuanced and persuasive argument.
task achievement
Be mindful of informal phrases and ensure consistent formal tone throughout the essay. This helps in maintaining the academic style required for IELTS writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?